I need a life...

Today's quote: Only one kind... Whoever this person is, he has played World of Warcraft nearly ever hour, of every day, for the past year and a half. Gentlemen, we are dealing with someone here who has absolutely no life.

Sigh. I feel that way! Since I'm taking a break from working for now, I thought I would finally get around to leveling my hunter and pally. It's funny because my hunter was once my main, and I even played her to rank 13. Now, I just find the hunter class too boring for words.

I also had a problem leveling my pally. After leveling my feral druid, the pally seems to kill 10 times more slowly. It seemed intolerable.

My solution? I transferred my pally to a separate account and dual-boxed the hunter and pally together. I thought it was kind of neat to level two toons at once. I'm actually curious how other people do it with three or five toons.

Now, I have three 70s, and I just realized what a pain in the ass it's going to be to gear up all three. I think I am giving up on the hunter and will just focus on the pally.

Arena or Kara weapon?

The day has finally arrived. I have enough arena points to buy the Merciless Gladiator's Maul, but I'm not that excited. Why, do you ask? Well, it's because I'm not sure what to do.

Here are my choices: 1) I can choose to spend all my arena points on this one fabulous weapon; or 2) I can spend all my arena points to purchase a season 2 helm and chestpiece, and wait/pray that the Stranglestaff from Karazhan drops.

I've done some calculations and comparisons of what boosts/upgrades I would receive. Basically, if I equip the helm and chest, I'll receive tons of more stam (55 more), intellect, +healing bonuses, and some more resilience. However, I will lose some agility (and therefore a little crit), and attack power. All in all, these boosts are all of a defensive quality--they won't help me kill any better.

Stats wise, the Stranglestaff is slightly inferior to the Merciless Gladiator's Maul. It has about 100 less attack power, less crit, and less stam. However, the Stranglestaff is free if it drops, which would allow me to use my points to buy the arena gear. My guildie thinks that it's an acceptable trade for all the bonus in stats I would gain if I waited for the staff and equipped the arena chest and helm in the meanwhile.

My only beef with this is that our guild is somewhat noobish. In fact, they've only downed Terestian once, and the staff didn't drop. The following week we tried him again, but we were gimped with an undergeared druid...giving us an outcome in which we wiped when Terestian was at 1% health. Needless to say, that was terrible. Therefore, my fears are that we may not down Terestian in the near future; even if we do, there's no guarantee that the staff will drop.

If I equip the arena mace, I'll gain 393 more attack power, about 3% crit, and a smidgen of stam (13). This is pretty much the best feral druid weapon I can obtain outside of Black Temple and what-not. Although the mace won't really help me survive any better, I'm hoping that an extra 400ish attack power will help me kill my opponents faster.

The people I've asked have given varying opinions as to what I should do. Two people have said to pick the mace because my main objective in arena matches and raids is usually to dps quickly. This is especially pertinent in arena matches, because my burst damage when killing someone might be good enough that the enemy dies before receiving a heal. There have been plenty of times when an opponent has escaped my grasp around 1-10% hp, and they would then receive a huge heal. Having more attack power could help me avoid those irritating situations better.

It all comes back to the fact that the Karazhan staff is free...if it drops. What on earth do I do?

Transformers, more than meets the eye

Today's quote: It's a robot. You know, like a super advanced robot. It's probably Japanese.

I didn't do much this July 4th. I just pretty much stayed home and relaxed. The only thing I did do was go see Transformers. I wasn't expecting much, so it was a nice surprise. The graphics of the Transformers looked so cool that the movie is just fine without being "more than meets the eye." A very cool feature is the fact that the voice actor for Optimus Prime is the original from the cartoon.

It was pretty funny, although some of the jokes were a bit corny. Still, Shia LeBeouf was a great main character. I didn't really think much of his female costar, other than the fact that she was obviously very pretty. Keep in mind that this movie is obviously meant for the general population, so it's not going to win any awards for the screenplay etc. Overall, expect the cartoon coming to life with very nice graphics and some humorous dialogue sprinkled throughout.

Totally grossed out

Ok. I've been having a few disputes with my landlords over various minor details. I finally thought everything was settled, until I came home Sunday evening and went to my bathroom. I opened the toilet lid, and found the toilet full of urine and poop. Who the heck uses a toilet without flushing?

The first thing that crossed my mind was whether I could have possibly done such a thing myself. However, there was no toilet paper in the mess, which automatically rules myself out. I'm extremely upset and disturbed.

Mini flash drives!

I just bought this super cute USB flash drive for $22 on sale. Whenever I think back to the days when I had my old 486, I'm totally amazed. Someone once told me that eventually the constraints of size and space would limit how small technology can get, but I'm still waiting to see that ceiling reached.

The last laugh...

Today's quote: You look down, they know you're lying, and up, they know you don't know the truth. Don't use seven words when four will do. Don't shift your weight, look always at your mark but don't stare, be specific but not memorable, be funny but don't make him laugh. He's got to like you then forget you the moment you've left his side. And for God's sake, whatever you do, don't, under any circumstances...

Ok. I have an awful feeling that I may have left my digital camera at that witch's place. You know, the condo I moved out of after three days of living there? I've just moved again, and after unpacking I can't find my 6.0mp digital camera or my library book. I've spent the whole weekend fretting about them, and now I've gone and fretted myself into a big headache.

Sigh, it would have been bad enough if I'd lost the camera. But to have left it behind in the possession of that irresponsible girl! Agh!!!! That would explain why her new ad the day after I left suddenly had pictures, when the first one didn't have any. I bet she was thinking, who's laughing now?

And now I can't find my library book either. I hate when I lose things. It makes me feel like I'm not in control and that I'm too stupid to live. Gah. I don't lose things very often, but everytime I do the item always seems expensive.

Happy pills

Today's quote: Come back and make up a goodbye at least, let's pretend we had one...

I had a conversation with my sister yesterday that left me feeling mildly disturbed.

[10:40] Sis: i would never date ppl with antidepressant or any mood pills
[10:40] Sis: if you can't handle everyday life, get the fuck away from me
[10:40] Me: it's not just everyday life that causes some people to take these things
[10:40] Sis: it's gonna get harder
[10:40] Me: they suffer trauma from deaths and stuff too
[10:41] Sis: i understand that extreme cases for short period of time
[10:41] Sis: yes, but habitually depressed ppl
[10:41] Sis: i'm referring to
[10:41] Me: well
[10:41] Me: if they're habitually depressed they should also be seeing a counselor
[10:42] Sis: yes, that's where they get their "happy" pills
[10:42] Me: it's said that the pills + counseling is the best method to help make a permanent change
[10:42] Me: you don't need counseling to get the happy pills
[10:42] Me: you can just ask for them
[10:42] Sis: i just don't want to do anything with ppl who have to take Pills to be happy

It sort of hit me then that a lot of people think the same as my sister does. In general, it seems that many people believe that depression is a sort of "all in your head" type of thing that doesn't really warrant going to the doctor. I understand that it can be difficult to prove that someone does or does not suffer from a mental or emotional problem. Perhaps that's why so many people write depression off as a "fake" or a not "real" medical condition.

However, people go to the doctor for other physical ailments and get prescribed medicine--why not for depression? The funny thing is, depression is all in the head: chronic depression is often caused by certain chemical imbalances in the brain. A person might tend towards a particular type of mood because of something like this.

In fact, many women deal with pms every month, which is caused by the hormonal changes a woman goes through because of menstruation. It's well known that a woman with pms can be prone to mood swings, crying, and outbursts. When that point in the cycle is over, hormone levels go back to normal and the woman stops pmsing. Other than that, how is pms all that different from something like depression? Yet, society treats a woman suffering from pms as a joke, or something to be tolerated (somewhat uneasily), whereas someone with depression becomes a liability.

Obviously, having a relationship with someone who needs to take medication to remain emotionally stable may not be the best situation one could hope for. No one really wants to take on more problems than what they already have. That's why a lot of people would prefer staying away from "drama queens" and such. There is a difference between a drama queen and someone who suffers from an emotional/mental problem, however. Arguably, a drama queen chooses to create their problems, by blowing things out of proportion from whatever misguided self-perceptions they live under. On the other hand, much of what a person with a mental illness thinks or feels comes from their physical chemical/genetic makeup, which they have no control over.

I realized that many people who should seek help may not do so, for fear of how that would look to their peers. It's a shame that societal pressure would keep someone from making a significantly positive life change. For me, I think that if a person can seek help that would help them function better and carry on their lives and relationships more normally, then why not? If anything, shouldn't we applaud those that are actively trying to help themselves to live a "normal" life?

At the same time, I'm not saying that I advocate popping pills everytime a problem comes up. Medication often solves only a symptom, and not the overall problem. In this case, I believe that medication + therapy/counseling is vital to make a permanent change in thought patterns and behavior. In general, I think this sort of response is better than turning to drinking or drugs, or whatever other destructive coping mechanisms people turn to.

I suppose my point in this rambling passage is that I don't think depression really deserves the social stigma that it currently bears. It's not like the number of people affected by depression is low; some studies even say that at least 1 in 4 women will experience depression at some point in their lifetime. That's hardly a small percentage. As for men, who knows what the real percentage is, since most men can't even admit that they ever cry. I also know that certain settings tend to have a higher proportion of people on antidepressants--take law students, for example.

I guess I know one thing for sure: if I ever end up on happy pills for depression or something, my own sister will probably think I'm too weak and/or mentally unstable to deal with "everyday life."

Grow up

You would think as people grow older that they would outgrow some childish habits, such as throwing a tantrum.

I've been rather busy over the last couple of weeks, with looking for a new place, moving in, moving out 5 days later, etc. Hell, I even spent one weekend in a motel because my apartment complex had been out of water for 5 days. All in all, I've been pretty stressed out.

My so-called best friend called me a couple of times during that period, and I didn't return his calls for about a week. We were used to talking quite regularly, with varying frequency; sometimes we'd talk every day, sometimes once or twice a week. Occasionally we would go for more than a week without talking.

Anyway, during my ultra-stressed-out-ready-to-have-nervous-breakdown period, I didn't take any calls. I didn't want to deal with anyone else at that time. I had enough on my plate trying to cancel my rent check to that bitch of a roommate and do a sneak moveout without her knowledge.

Apparently, J decided that not picking up the phone was to be the end of our 6 year friendship. He left a voicemail which said, "If you don't call me by the end of Tuesday, we're through." The funny thing was, I didn't get the message, but I ended up calling him on Tuesday anyway, after things had settled down a bit. He answered the phone like a bitch.

J: Oh, did I finally get your attention?
Me: What do you mean?
J: I left you a message.
Me: What did it say?
J: If you didn't call me by the end of today, then we were through.
Me: What?!

Am I just weird? Because I thought that friends were supposed to understand that you go through some crazy shit sometimes, and you may not always be there to talk. I also thought that maybe he'd grown up a bit since our college days; once he got mad at me for not wanting to hug him, as if he was entitled to receive hugs from me! Apparently, he hadn't grown beyond his childish ways if he's still capable of issuing stupid ultimatums without regard to what circumstances the other person is in.

I was so mad that I hung up on him. I didn't even see the point of explaining things. If he'd asked reasonably why I hadn't been answering his calls, then sure, I would have explained myself. But what did I do to deserve a stupid ultimatum? We haven't spoken since, and I don't think we ever will again. I'm not being melodramatic, I'm just tired of how he's been over the last couple of years. Here are some examples.

Two years ago,we briefly considered the idea of dating. We'd both just broken up with our significant others; I think that we were just on the rebound. However, I soon realized that I wasn't really attracted to him, so I told him bluntly that I couldn't see us together. He couldn't accept that, and kept pursuing the subject until I got really angry with him. We didn't talk for a couple of weeks, and then he called to apologize, and said that he wouldn't bring it up again.

A year after that, he called one day, and said he wanted to talk about "us." He proceeded to tell me that he and his friend decided that I was jerking him around, and basically keeping him around as a backup. I asked how this was so, when he lived in California and I lived in Washington. I got really angry that he was bringing up the subject of "us" again, when he'd told me repeatedly that it was a closed subject. However, I valued him as a friend, and figured that eventually he would see the truth. I did not make any threats of ending our friendship, because I loved and treasured him as a best friend.

Every now and then, he would hint or threaten that perhaps we weren't meant to be friends. He always implied that he might be better off not knowing me. All I can say is, if he really thought that, then he should have grown some fucking balls and cut me off, once and for all. After a while, the constant drama got to be irritating.

And now I get this--threats of ending our friendship over the silly fact that I was unavailable to talk for a little while? I stuck by him when he was being unreasonable, and even when he was accusing me of certain behavior that I wasn't guilty of. How is that fair? I think I've had enough of his ridiculous PMS and irrational behavior.