Crazy moms

Today's quote: I don't believe in physical contact with the opposite sex. At all. Ever. Nothing.

Are all moms certifiably insane just by virtue of being moms? Or is it just my mother? I called my mom just to chat and see how she and my dad were doing. She told me my black sheep brother called them.

On the subject of my black sheep brother, it's impossible to ever say anything right. My parents have always had the attitude that I'd better be on their side, not his. Needless to say, my brother isn't the only one that needs to grow up.

Whenever they tell me anything he did or said, it's practically entrapment. Like I said, nothing I ever say is right. They basically just wait for me to say something and then pounce on it and rant bitterly about him.

This time, when my mom told me he called, I thought I'd just go with a noncommital "mmm." Apparently even this expression is fraught with danger. My mother immediately seized on it and said, " 'mmm' ?? What, did you know he was going to call us? Did he call you first?"

I've been forbidden to talk to him, and every now and then they ask me if I've talked to him. Yeah, right, like I'm going to be stupid enough to admit it if I had. Sometimes though, I think they actually sound disappointed when I say that I haven't talked to him, because I guess they missed out on an opportunity to go off on yet another crazy long-winded sermon about how black-sheepy he is.

Here is another story to illustrate. My mother used to own a small grocery/convenience store. I often worked or just hung out there. I remember one day particularly vividly. I was around the tender adolescent age of 12 or 13, and a boy was in the shop buying stuff. He looked at me, and asked if I had a boyfriend. My mother, upon hearing this, flew into a rage and chased him out the door with a broom and threatened to kill him if he ever came back.

....yeah.

Just not my day

Today's quote: The Valkyrie at my side is shouting and laughing with the pure, hateful, bloodthirsty joy of the slaughter... and so am I.

Ok, I haven't been the happiest person lately, what with the things going on in my life. One of them is me starting to seriously doubt if law school is right for me. Alright, so what else would I be doing then? I"m not sure. Anyway, I've been having my moods of self-doubt and uncertainty, which makes reading for class fairly difficult. My mentality is, why read for class if I'm not sure I'm going to be here? Of course, at the same time if I am going to stick it out the last thing I want to do is shoot myself in the foot by not reading for class. The whole thing has had me coming home at nights and laying around like a pool of silly putty on my bed staring out my window wondering what's going to happen.

Well, today I decided to ignore my problems temporarily at least, and get going on some stuff. I started out with some laundry. Went out to lunch, came back and popped the laundry into one dryer. Came back later to pick it up, and almost cried at what I saw. There were hot pink splotches randomly on all my clothes, especially the whites. I always check my pockets, but somehow a tube of lipgloss got through, became uncapped in the dryer, and them proceeded to melt itself all over my favorite white clothes. It's funny how the little things are the ones likely to push you over the edge when you're already hovering near it. I swear, at that moment I felt like God was either testing me or laughing at me. Maybe both. I took the clothes, put a full serving of bleach into the washer, ran them through, nuh uh. Nada. Still bright pink splotches. I shook my fist at the ceiling. Sure, mess with my career choices in life, turn me into someone homeless because I have no money. But NOT the clothes!!!

Veterans

Today's quote: Mo cuishle.

It was rather weird going to the first day of classes today and seeing all the 1Ls swarming about. They looked like shiny new pennies. Seeing them made me feel like a tried-and-true veteran. Well...not really. Actually I felt like a 1L pretending to be a 2L. Anyhoo, it was just weird going to classes that weren't core classes, just subjects I picked all for fun. It makes for a busy schedule, but right now fresh starts and keeping busy are very important. I just hope that I settle into the schedule of things quickly so that I stop feeling crazily out of place.

At least I have a favorable impression of all of my teachers this semester, and the subjects are very promising as far as interest goes. Hopefully I'll be able to stay in school to enjoy the classes this semester, because I don't have any financial aid right now. I'm waiting to see what I can do with private loans or if there will be some kind of financial aid award last minute after all. If I don't get the money I'll be forced to withdraw, because no mula = no school. It's a little freakish considering what I will do if I end up being forced to take a semester off. I just told my parents yesterday about my problem, and understandably they weren't happy. I guess they're afraid that if I do take a semester off I'll end up never going back. They just don't understand. I'll be damned if I let my first year of law school go to waste, not to mention all the debt I have incurred so far. Nuh uh, back to school I will be going later to get the stupid degree to at least hang on my wall, even if I don't end up practicing law. They really needn't worry about that.

Welcome back

It was strange entering the law school to find it once again crawling with students after getting used to the emptiness over the summer. Got my books, and swore like a mofo when it came out to $477. I've always wondered about law school and all the expenses. Are they really that necessary?? There are so many satellite expenses that the total sum ends up being astronomical. Books, parking permits, computer fees, etc. It doesn't end. Whoever came up with the idea of charging law students for practically breathing was a genius. Yeah, wring every last penny from us before sending us out to try to make some money for a change, instead of being an incredibly huge money drain on ourselves and all the people around us. Bah.

So it's really weird coming back and seeing all the 1Ls studying their intro to law books soooo intently. I wonder to myself, did I look that serious last year? I don't think so. I've never really been that concerned about grades, and never thought that they were the end-all to everything. Sure, I cared. Somewhere way back I learned that you gotta loosen up and let things happen naturally. If a 1L came up to me and asked me for advice, I'd say that you give it your all, but don't let it destroy you. Relax and have some fun once in a while.