Monday, January 30, 2006

Sleeping in Seattle

Today's quote: Verbal ability is a highly overrated thing in a guy, and it's our pathetic need for it that gets us into so much trouble.

Ok, maybe not really Seattle. More like a suburb of it. After having left on Friday, I am now here! It was funny how right when I had to hold my pee and also needed to refuel the gas simultaneously I hit hardcore traffic. You know that dance you do when you really have to go, but for some reason or another you can't? That was me. To top it off, my dad called for the fifth time today right when I was trying to maneuver past a bitch driving her SUV honking at me when she was the one trying to merge into traffic. I was ready to just throw my cell out the window by then because my dad has had the amazing luck to keep calling at all the worst moments. Yesterday I almost drove off an exit ramp in Wyoming while it was snowing because the cell rang right then.

After the days of driving, not drinking in the car because I didn't want to have to pull off somewhere just to pee, lugging all my stuff to and from the car every night, trying to mash down the mounds of stuff in my car and hope that I wasn't cracking my lcd tv screen, I've finally arrived. In a way, it was anticlimactic. Right when I drove into my brother's neighborhood the sky became overcast and started to drizzle. What a wonderful omen. At least I am reunited with my Hello Kitty slippers. How I've missed them!

Saturday, January 28, 2006


By the way, for anyone thinking of getting a car: forget about getting a VW. Maybe it was just my bad luck with getting a VW model b/t 2000-02, but things on my car keep going wrong. First, the car goes through oil unnaturally fast. Upon reading the manual, I'm told to check my oil levels every time I get gas. Apparently this type of oil consumption is normal for VW cars. Next, my abs module is buggy and drains my battery completely dead. Then, the window on the driver's side rolls down one day and decides it doesn't feel like being rolled back up. The emergency light stops working. Then battery dies again for mysterious reasons. Now, the emission malfunction light is on in my car.

I am starting to think the battery dying and the malfunction light were small ways to stop me from leaving IA. I was supposed to have left on the 20th. I pushed that a little back because I needed time to finish packing. That night I get in the car to go have dinner with a friend, but the car doesn't start. I stare at it in dismay, and then call my dad. My dad said to open the hood and see if the cables connecting to the battery had come loose. I said, you want me to do wha??? Where's the battery?? Note to self: must at least learn the basics. The only thing I do know how to do is change a tire by myself. The next day I had to have the car towed to the shop and diagnosed.

So I had pushed the move out date to the 27th. The morning of, I went through the apartment inspection with the person, and turned in my keys. I get in my car, and now there's a new light on the dash. I swear like a mofo, because now I'm homeless, and it's Friday, and I called the only VW dealership in town but they couldn't get me in at all for that day, the soonest being Monday. But the guy told me that as long as the light wasn't flashing I should be fine to drive to WA. Famous last words.

Another extremely bad turn of events: Seville wouldn't sever my lease, so I'm still responsible for paying rent unless they find someone to sublease the damn apt. They wouldn't even consider a $2k cash settlement. I called a lawyer to ask him what my options were, and the guy basically told me to keep paying the rent. I asked what would happen if I didn't, and he said they would wait till the lease was over and then sue me in small claims court for all of the rent owed + attorneys' fees. If they don't find me, then it's good old published notice (ah Civ Pro showed me what that was) and eventually judgment entered. The lawyer told me that if I didn't plan on being a deadbeat for the next 10 years then I better take care of it, a.k.a. pay the fucking greedy leeches on society. This is just another reason why I don't want to remain in Iowa any longer. The place is way too pro-landlords.

On the Road Again...

Today's quote: Oh, turban now! Do you see any fucking turban here? Do I talk like a turban guy? Do I say 'Hey Jay, you want a slippy? You wanna slippy?' Fuck you, okay? I was born in Brooklyn, Brooklyn, okay? My accent is a fucking Brooklyn accent, okay? Okay?!

Ok, so it's now Day 2 of my drive out to Washington. So far, it's been terribly boring driving through Nebraska and now Wyoming.

Day 1:
Yesterday I really only made it to Omaha because I hadn't slept much the night before. I found a room, and asked the people at the inn where was the closest place to eat. The woman told me the Chinese place next door was really good. So I go there, and had the misfortune to come across the nastiest Chinese food in my life. It wasn't even Chinese. It was about as Chinese as Chuck Norris is. Now I know why Iowans make fun of Nebraskans. Well, there is probably more than one reason: 1) Nebraska has nothing, and 2) Iowans make fun of Nebraskans the way Alabamians make fun of Missippians-- because they can. Anyway, the Chinese restaurant was totally packed, which was completely confusing to me. The food sucked balls. And I thought the food in Iowa City was lacking! By comparison, it was like eating dog food after having eaten gourmet entrees. The only bright side to this terrible adventure was the fact that dinner only cost me $5.34 with tax. Sometimes you only get what you pay for.

Day 2:
Today I suffered through the most boring part of the drive: Nebraska. It was miles and miles of a perfectly straight I-80, with no interesting landscape to alleviate the visual drought. Even when I glanced at my gps monitor, the interstate showed as a perfectly straight and exactly horizontal line. Then the freeway crossed over into Wyoming, which was at least punctuated by some mountains here and there. I got a room, and skipped dinner because I'm tired of eating by myself in public, especially in places out in the middle of nowhere.