Today's quote: Oh, turban now! Do you see any fucking turban here? Do I talk like a turban guy? Do I say 'Hey Jay, you want a slippy? You wanna slippy?' Fuck you, okay? I was born in Brooklyn, Brooklyn, okay? My accent is a fucking Brooklyn accent, okay? Okay?!
Ok, so it's now Day 2 of my drive out to Washington. So far, it's been terribly boring driving through Nebraska and now Wyoming.
Yesterday I really only made it to Omaha because I hadn't slept much the night before. I found a room, and asked the people at the inn where was the closest place to eat. The woman told me the Chinese place next door was really good. So I go there, and had the misfortune to come across the nastiest Chinese food in my life. It wasn't even Chinese. It was about as Chinese as Chuck Norris is. Now I know why Iowans make fun of Nebraskans. Well, there is probably more than one reason: 1) Nebraska has nothing, and 2) Iowans make fun of Nebraskans the way Alabamians make fun of Missippians-- because they can. Anyway, the Chinese restaurant was totally packed, which was completely confusing to me. The food sucked balls. And I thought the food in Iowa City was lacking! By comparison, it was like eating dog food after having eaten gourmet entrees. The only bright side to this terrible adventure was the fact that dinner only cost me $5.34 with tax. Sometimes you only get what you pay for.
Today I suffered through the most boring part of the drive: Nebraska. It was miles and miles of a perfectly straight I-80, with no interesting landscape to alleviate the visual drought. Even when I glanced at my gps monitor, the interstate showed as a perfectly straight and exactly horizontal line. Then the freeway crossed over into Wyoming, which was at least punctuated by some mountains here and there. I got a room, and skipped dinner because I'm tired of eating by myself in public, especially in places out in the middle of nowhere.