Wednesday, November 02, 2005
I've often wondered whether I am a leader or a follower. All my life my father has pushed me to be a leader, and I usually ended up in those roles in school. President of Honor Society, member of student government, etc. I'd always felt that I didn't really like being in that sort of role, because it seemed to me that people expected so much of you. I've always had a fear of being overestimated and disappointing people. I'd rather be the underdog who pleasantly surprises others with my unknown and astonishing abilities.
So the start of my transformation began in college. I swore to myself that I would not let myself be known as that geek, that do-all annoying overachiever. I set out to be the best slacker I could be. That's when I found out that it wasn't really my parents who pushed me to do all those things. Maybe to some extent, but they weren't the determinative factor. I realized that I have a nasty little streak of competitiveness. However, choosing a difficult major soon beat that out of me. No longer could I compete with those alphas at the front of the pack, it was all I could do to survive.
Now, here I am at a crossroads, wondering if I really want to be a lawyer. This really leads me back to a bigger question, however. One of the main problems I have with being a lawyer is the whole scenario where I would have to join a big firm at the bottom rung as junior associate, grind my way up the ladder relentlessly trying to get that bigger paycheck and better hours, so that I can go from working 100+ hours a week to just 80+ hours a week. All of this while taking all that bullshit from the senior partners who slough off their drudgery and unwanted crapwork onto those unfortunate junior associates. I think this is the part where I have the biggest problem. If I have to be doing crapwork, I want to be the one making myself do it, not because some asshole higher-up tells me to.
I've always known that I had problems with authority. It's the real reason why I can't go to church. Especially since visiting Parkview, I feel that the sermons and the show put on are not-so-subtle attempts at brainwashing the masses. I'm not saying that I know any better than others in how to worship, but I think perhaps I am most comfortable in my own way, and not by following the orders of others.
So am I leader, or a follower? I'm not sure. I don't want the responsibilities of a leader, nor do I like being in the spotlight and having controversy and gossip surround my existence. But I also dislike following the often stupid orders of other people. I don't always believe in doing something just because it works, I like to see that it's the best way, or sometimes I like to see if there are other ways. Daddy always said I was stubborn, and maybe it's the real root of my problem with authority. I often think that I could do whatever it is better.
Maybe I can end up as the person right next to the leader? Someone who has input, but doesn't have to deal with all of the responsibilities and publicity.
Monday, October 24, 2005
I was speaking to my sister on the phone today. She told me that she saw this movie that totally depressed her and made her cry, but that it was really good. She wouldn't tell me what it was, because she didn't want me to go watch it and get the same way. As soon as she said "good, but depressing" the first movie that came to mind was The Notebook. I asked her if that was it, and I was right.
Then we got into this whole discussion about how movies like that are so depressing and yet so good because they portray something that we all wish we could find for ourselves. We of today, so cynical and so jaded, nevertheless hope in the deepest of our hearts that sometimes the movies could be true, that some of us could be that lucky and get that happy ending after all. The truth is, we want to think that we could come to mean so much to someone else, that we could be that special. Of course we scoff at those brave enough to admit that in public, but isn't the real reason why these chick flicks make so much money is because we want to get away from the daily humdrum of our boring and unromantic lives?
Obviously, the take from the male sentiment is different. Many think that these ideas of love and relationships plant notions in our heads that make us yearn for the unattainable. Is it really unattainable? Or is it often used as an excuse for being lazy? I don't think it takes too much work to try to infuse a little romance into a relationship to make the girl feel special. And if the guy feels that the girl isn't that special to begin with, then perhaps he shouldn't be with her.
Monday, October 17, 2005
I was filling out a personality profile with my sister on the internet, and she came across this question: Other than your parents, who is the most influential person in your life, and why? This question only drew blank stares from both me and my sis. Neither of us knew what to put for it.
It's one of those irritating questions that keeps popping up over and over again. I am pretty sure I encountered it as a personal statement question when applying to college, and then again to law school, and I know L ran across it also when applying to grad school. Who comes up with these stupid questions? This question was even worse because it ruled out the most common option of choosing either your mom or your dad.
I know people think that adding these types of questions to applications help to round out their image of the applicant, and also gives the applicant a chance to distinguish themselves from all the others. However, why can't they come up with better questions? You see these dumb questions when applying to jobs, schools, hell, you even see them in the Miss America beauty pageant.
Friday, October 14, 2005
For where a heart is hard they make no battery.
I was reading a novel during one of my "on" times. You know how it is, you squeeze in some other types of reading when you can, just to be able to say that you do read stuff outside of school. At least, I do. Anyway, the novel was fiction, but it quoted some statistics that made me wonder. It said that the US has about 4% of the world population (back around 1990), about 18% of the global wealth, but produces 50% of the lawyers in the world. That made my jaw drop. I always knew that the number of people graduating from law school every year was high, but I had no idea. I have no way of verifying that figure, but I can only guess that it's probably true, especially given the recent turn of the economy in the last few years. I remember picking up a Business Week two years ago, and it showed the percentage of applications to law school had increased by 36% from the previous year. The year before that, applications had risen by about 27%.
My father never wanted me to be a lawyer. I don't know if I really feel like joining an already glutted market and fighting over my own scraps to eke out a salary.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
I had the worst time waking up this morning. I woke up for a few minutes, and kind of drifted back to sleep. About 10 minutes later my mother calls and wakes me up. I was semi-concious, so I answered the phone pretty quickly since I hadn't fallen into a deep sleep. The thing is, every morning when I first start talking I sound like I'm croaking. Whoever gets to talk to me first has the benefit of hearing my lovely voice.
So this morning it was good ole mom. She wanted me to call Social Security and see about an application for dad, since he just turned 65. In mid-conversation the call dropped, so I called her back. Now, logical people would realize that if I didn't want to talk to her, I wouldn't have called back, right? However, the normal things like logic and reason just don't seem to apply to my parents, particularly not my mother. I called her back, and she starts going, whose phone dropped that call??? Did you hang up? I was like, I don't know, mom. Thing was, I happened to be yawning while I said that, since I had just kinda woken up. She knew I just woke up. For some crazy reason she starts flipping out and suddenly starts shrieking at me "What, you don't even want to do this for us, you worthless good-for-nothing daughter?!!!!!" And a bunch of other crap that a normal profanity filter would leave out. Then she hung up on me. I was left staring at my phone in utter bewilderment, going WTF.
I called dad back instead, and asked him if she'd lost all her marbles. The crazy thing was, she was still shrieking in the background. Finally my dad roars at her "WOMAN SHUT UP!!!!"
After all that it was great finding out that the government keeps raising the age for social security benefits, so my father doesn't actually qualify until he's 65.5 years old. And it was even better that they used up so many of my anytime minutes putting me on hold only to tell me that their computer systems are down and to call back tomorrow. They suck.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Oh man. Ohhhh man. Remind me next time to keep my big mouth shut. I came up with the bright idea to play spades with four people, but not on teams. The premise was that every two hands we would tally up the score, and the biggest loser would have to take a shot. So before the game we went out to the liquor store and N decided that we should buy a drink called 99 Blackberries. I have never heard of this drink before, but I guess that's just me, because there is a whole line of this 99 stuff including 99 Bananas, 99 Apples, 99 Hot Damn, etc. The Hot Damn (cinnamon) was all out, so that's how we settled on 99 Blackberries. All of these are called 99 because that's what proof they are. So I foolishly agreed to this drink, thinking to myself, oh of course blackberries should taste great, right?
N decided that we should at least have some dinner before we got all f*cked up playing spades, so we all had some thai curry, which was fairly spicy. My brother decided we should take a test run of the 99 Blackberries, so he cracked the bottle and we all took a shot. OH MY GOD. That stuff was soooo nasty. It was like drinking super concentrated cherry cough syrup. It brought the proverbial tears to my eyes and hair on my chest and all that good stuff. As if that wasn't bad enough, my brother thought that it was so gross that he should mix it with Crown Royal. Then we tasted that, and that was even worse. It was a really nasty concoction of cough syrupy whiskeyish devil's brew. It was literally the nastiest alcohol I have ever had the bad luck to come across in my life.
By that point, we'd had curry for dinner, and also snacked on some beef jerky and guacamole Doritos. I totally ended up regretting eating all that stuff. Although I ultimately ended up with the highest score for the spades game, I did end up having to take one full shot of that nasty Crown Royal/99 Blackberries crap because one hand I had the lowest score. Altogether, I'd only had two shots, but my body decided it did not like it. I threw up 3 times that night. I can tell you that the green Doritos and the curry were not pretty coming back up. Everyone was making fun of me saying I was a cheap date, but really I'm not! Last year at the Halloween party I'd had several beers, about 4 shots, and then more beers, and I still didn't end up as messed up as last night. I blame it all on the 99 Blackberries devil drink.
To top it all off, I had the most vicious hangover I've ever had in my life. Actually, this is the only hangover I've ever had. I swore that I would never drink again. J doesn't believe me. He said that a law student saying that they're never drinking again is like a hooker saying she'll never have sex again.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
I often wonder why some memories linger with us longer than others. I have recollections of how certain people looked at particular moments, of being terrified during some events, of being advised of what to do or not do in certain cases. Do people really believe that you have to have the sour with the sweet in order to enjoy the sweet that much more? I don't think so. I believe that imagination could adequately supply what is needed in order to appreciate what you are lucky enough to have. Of course, I do believe that misfortune and suffering could build character, if the individual is so inclined to believe. Too bad we can't choose what we can remember.
My brother likes to recount to others often of an encounter that we had back when I was about 2 or 3. He was about 17, and I was being put to bed by my parents. I'd kissed everyone goodnight except for him. My mother asked me, "Aren't you going to kiss your oldest brother goodnight?" Apparently I replied, "NO." Then I turned around and flounced out of the room. Isn't it odd that my brother would hold on to such an weird memory? He likes to tell me often, "You were soooo cute back then! What happened?" Ugh. Brothers.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
I had a really late night. I ended up going to see my brother at work, and watching some of the players. Then N and I went to a bar, and afterwards to a friend's house. It's funny how these dealers talk shop all the time. As if it's not enough that they work these crazy hours dealing poker all the time, on their off time they get together and talk more about poker, and if they're not talking about it with each other they're watching it on tv! And I thought law students were bad.
I'm wondering how far this poker fad will go. I've seen all these guys playing online at the law school, and almost all the guys I know play it now. All I can say is, it's not meant for everyone, and someone has to be the fish. Those people should keep their day jobs.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Ever since I can remember, I have had vivid dreams every night. I usually have about 4-5 dreams a night. When I was young I used to sleepwalk. This frightened my parents no end, especially since my habit was to sleepwalk into their room and just stand by their bedside. They thought I would have to have an exorcism done on me. As I got older the sleepwalking stopped, but I know I still talk in my sleep. I have still been known to occasionally do or say things asleep that I have no recollection of.
The dream world is altogether too vivid and real to me. Does anyone else dream in color? I do. Most mornings I wake up feeling tired, as if I'd been working all night. That's because at least one of the 4-5 dreams is usually a nightmare of some sorts, anywhere from something stupid as having a giant pimple on my nose and discovering it at school to being trapped in a burning water tower and being burned alive to death. Has anyone else ever died in a dream? I've been told that no person should ever dream that, and that there is a strong chance that heart failure can occur from dreaming such a thing. I have actually died in my dreams twice now. I have to admit, it's a very eerie thing.
I would like to be able to control my dreams better. Sleep time should be something pleasant and restful, not something to be dreaded. Does lucid dreaming work? I've never been able to master it yet.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
I usually loathe getting out of bed in the mornings, but this is really a bit ridiculous. I electrocuted myself this morning. Talk about a jump start to the day. Ironically, it happened while I was trying to unplug this damn laptop from the wall. My bed has an ornate headboard that prevents me from getting to the outlet right behind the bed, so I have to crawl under the bed to get to it. The charger came halfway out, and I wasn't thinking and grabbed around it and touched the prongs, which were apparently still connected to the current. I got this shock to my hand which caused me to jump, and of course, hit my head on the underside of the bed. Needless to say, the words coming out of my mouth were not pretty.
I've always wondered what it would be like to get electrocuted. Now I know. My hand has gone from numbness to hurting and now a weird tingling throbbing.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
I went to a casino with my brother today. He dragged me kicking and screaming to play some slot machines. Why do people like playing them? I can't believe he gave this machine $20 so that I could have the dubious privilege of pressing the "Spin Reels" button over and over. I looked at my brother, and said "You do know there are jobs where YOU get paid to push a button over and over?" I looked around, and saw all these old people sitting at the slots mindlessly pushing their buttons repeatedly, all the while smoking like chimneys. I guess they're lonely, and like seeing the busy life of a casino, but damn, doesn't it seem like there could be better (and less expensive) ways to spend their time?
And I can't believe my brother would play slot machines when he knows that they are a casino's biggest money maker.
Monday, September 19, 2005
What do you do if a dear friend might not be making the right decision about something? Do you wait for them to ask for your opinion, or do you offer it anyway, or even if you know that they don't want your opinion do you force it upon them regardless because you think that they are turning a willfully blind eye to the truth?
And what about the other side? How much of your friend's advice do you take? Sometimes I wonder if their interference only makes things worse. Perhaps I am more easily influenced by the opinions of others than I thought. I went from willfully ignoring everyone's opinions before, and then when that turned out disastrously, I swung to the other extreme, of maybe giving too much merit to what they thought. Sometimes things are just better off left alone to simmer, without actively thinking about things all the time, without trying to always do something about them.
I saw this on Arbusto's site...thought it was mostly true for myself as well. Maybe it's time to be a little more about me now.
|Your Birthdate: November 9|
Your birth on the 9th day of the month adds a tone of idealism and humanitarianism to your nature.
You become one who can work easily with people because you are broadminded, tolerant and generous.
You are ever sensitive to others' needs and feelings, and you are very sympathetic and compassionate.
Your feeling run deep and you often find yourself in dramatically charged situations.
This 9 energy always tends to give more that it gets.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
I got an email from a dear friend DZ, and it was a link to her wedding and honeymoon photos. They were so beautiful. She was one of the first roommates I'd ever had, and definitely one of the most pleasant. It's great to know that some friendships do endure the test of time and moving away and all that.
Anyway, I got to thinking how I've never been to a wedding. I've been invited to at least 4. The first two I got sick the day of the weddings. The third one my friend here invited me to go with him this summer, but I didn't go. Now I wish I had. And then I missed DZ's wedding because it was the weekend after school started. I also wish I had been able to go to hers.
Weddings...I have no idea how I would feel watching the ceremony. Would I cry? Would I feel joy at watching such a special union take place? Hopefully I won't continue this disturbing pattern of always missing weddings, especially not at my own.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Ok, so what does it mean when I've been having blackouts? Apparently I have talked to some people on the phone and not remembered I called or talked to them at all. I've also been calling people and forgetting that I've called them one second after I've hit the send button. My dad got really mad at me for doing that to him a couple of times, and demanded to know why I called him without saying anything. I'm too young for Alzheimers...
Also, if I've got insomnia, are there any good otc sleeping aids I can take?
Monday, September 12, 2005
|Your Inner Child Is Happy|
You see life as simple, and simple is a very good thing.
You're cheerful and upbeat, taking everything as it comes.
And you decide not to worry, even when things look bad.
You figure there's just so many great things to look forward to.
Sometimes I reflect on some of the friends I have made, and I just shake my head. For instance, there was that bitchy roommate K who used to call me Big Bird all the time. Then there was my other friend Z who constantly put me down too.
Today I called Z because I had yet another dream in a series for the last couple of weeks. I just wanted to hear someone talking. Her advice to me was to keep myself too busy to even think. I replied, well yesterday was the last day at one of my jobs... To which she said maybe I'd made the wrong decision.
Why on earth would a friend plant doubts in your mind about a decision you've already made? Is not the role of a friend sometimes to be supportive? Why the wishy-washy attitude when I've done something that cannot be taken back?
Perhaps it is time for some new friends.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
So I went to church for the first time in years yesterday. I think the last time I listened to a sermon I was around the tender age of 10. Yeah, so it's really been awhile. It's not like I'd expected the same exact type of church I used to go to, but I certainly wasn't expecting anything like Parkview. That place is overwhelming. I went into the auditorium, where they have two ginormous flat screens mounted up high, and there was a live band performing. I was totally taken aback when confronted with the sight. The old church I used to go to had old fashioned wooden pews, a place in the back for the choir to sit, and the minister most certainly did not have a microphone headset. And we actually sang hymns, not "praise songs." The songs made me think of Saved! starring Mandy Moore. I felt like such an old geezer.
I'm not sure, but it seemed to me that the good old stuff like faith and the gospel should appeal to the person for themselves, not because they've been given new and shiny packaging in the form of live entertainment and huge flat screens depicting pictures etc. Maybe I'm just old fashioned.
Also, have preachers always chosen to expound on such a tiny section of text? Maybe I just have a bad attention span. But the way the minister was parsing the text and explaining almost every word was enough to make me want to scream. I'm a slow reader by nature, but even I can read more than 9 lines of verse in an hour.
I guess I shall choose to conduct my own studies of the Bible by myself at home, law school style.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
|Your IQ Is 130|
Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average
Your Verbal Intelligence is Exceptional
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius
Your General Knowledge is Exceptional
|Your Career Type: Investigative|
You are precise, scientific, and intellectual.
Your talents lie in understanding and solving math and science problems.
You would make an excellent:
Architect - Biologist - Chemist
Dentist - Electrical Technician - Mathematician
Medical Technician - Meteorologist - Pharmacist
Physician - Surveyor - Veterinarian
The worst career options for your are enterprising careers, like lawyer or real estate agent.
I was at dinner last night with some friends, when the subject of cyclers came up. Silly me, I asked, what do you mean? Apparently cyclers are those who will pick one friend to spend all their time with to the exclusion of all others. So much so, that it's almost as if they one day get tired of them and just suddenly drop them. So it kind of looks like they went through a "phase." It's just that instead of going through a phase like a mid-life crisis or liking to wear pink, it's with a person. When I heard that, I just knew that J would have been jumping up and down, screaming and pointing at me.
It's not like I ever meant to do such a thing...it's always been more like eventually there would be a falling out with my favorite friend. As J put it baldly, then I'm screwed because by that time I had let all my other friendships fall through and have no one to turn to anymore. Even if I do eventually make up with that person, things are just never the same again. I guess now is the time to break my cycle.
Friday, September 09, 2005
|How You Life Your Life|
You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.
You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations.
Your friends tend to be a as quirky as you are - which is saying a lot!
You have one big dream in your life, and you never lose sight of it.
I read Arbusto's entry about whether he needed a Palm. I used to have one several years back because I thought it would be really cool to have one, and not even like I really needed one. After about a year or so I sold it to my friend because I realized that like most gadgets, I really didn't need it.
It's amazing how many things we feel we need to have with us at all times. It's starting to feel like too much stuff to carry in my purse. Sometimes I even get resentful over having to carry a purse. I wish that I could just have a wallet in my back pocket like most guys. There just seem to be more and more things being marketed as essential, things that people can't live without. In reality, people can do without most things. But then again, I'm one to talk, I have dual lcds.
I stand back, look at my purses, and I see a trend towards larger and larger purses. Maybe I should treat them like clothes. You know what they say, don't buy clothes in bigger sizes because you'll just grow bigger to fit them.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Sometimes I wonder what motivates people to take the actions that they do. One of my ex-boyfriends asked me for my address a few weeks ago, saying that he was going to mail me a frame. I assumed it was something I'd left behind last year when I moved out. When I got the package today, I opened it and found a bunch of my photos with a frame. If all he wanted to do was do a little purging and get rid of stuff, why not just throw them away? It's not like I would know. Nor did I expect us to get back together. Why take this extra little step to take the effort to mail me something from so far away? It almost feels as if this is one last parting shot to get at me.
My brother suggested that perhaps it was his way of showing me that he was moving on. Sure, moving on is good. It's one thing to decide for yourself that you're going to move on, because I would expect nothing less. But it's another thing to rub it in someone else's face. We'd told each other that we wouldn't give anything back. None of my girlfriends gave pictures back.
Girls may be crazy, but boys are just stupid.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
I came across these photos on the internet the other day. Supposedly they are genuine photos of an Alabama wedding. Sorry, if any of you are from there, don't get mad!
Monday, September 05, 2005
I'm 24, and it's taken me this long to learn what faith is. As my daddy always said, I always did have to learn the hard way.
|Your Mood Ring is Yellow|
Alright, so if I don't want to practice law, what will I do with my j.d.? My dad is desperate for me not to abandon the whole thing since I've already invested a year and all the money into it. For me, it's not really a matter of what I've invested, that kind of thing doesn't really matter to me. Looking back on the year I've already spent here, I treasure what I've experienced. The friendships, the people I've cared about, the discipline of the education, there is nothing that I regret having lived through.
So I've been discussing possible professions that are somehow peripherally related to law. Here's the way I see it. If I do graduate from law school with no intention of practicing, it'll be like having a Ferrari. It looks really nice, it's cool knowing you own one, but is totally unncessary. Even if I do end up in a profession that somehow utilizes the degree, it'll be like me taking the Ferrari out for an occasional spin to impress others, but mostly keeping it in the garage.
My brother is concerned with my choices and my ability to think clearly right now. He also doesn't want me to make the same mistake that he did. He ended up getting a degree in computer science just because he told our dad that he would. It was the classic doing-it-for-the-parents type of thing. Now he's doing something totally unrelated. I suppose he and LowlyLawAssociate are right about doing something that makes me happy. My brother thinks I should just take a break from everything and come visit him for a while and chill out, get away from the pressure everyone is putting on me and think for myself for once, and not about what others want/expect of me. Sounds totally good to me.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
I read an interesting short story called Bumping Into Mr. Ravioli. This man relates a story about his three-year-old daughter who has an imaginary playmate, Charlie Ravioli. The weird part is, Charlie is too busy to play with her. Doesn't that seem like it's defeating the purpose of having an imaginary playmate? So that they can be there to play with you when you want them to? Apparently not. The daughter often talks on her toy cell phone to Charlie, usually leaving a message for him. She remarks how she usually just gets his machine, and asks him to call her back. As if this isn't odd enough, over time she creates an assistant for Charlie, because apparently now he's too busy to tell her himself that he's busy. The parents ask around what they should do, and most people tell them that they should move out of New York because the lifestyle is getting to her, how everyone is so busy all the time. Too busy to keep up their real friendships, always on the run, always bumping into people and snatching bits of living here and there.
I was comparing the life of a second-year law student to this description, and I didn't like what I saw.
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Well, apparently breaking news on CNN is that Chief Justice Rehnquist died today at the age of 80 from thyroid cancer. He served on the Court for 33 years, and there are only 4 men who served longer. Rehnquist came on the Court back when it was much more liberal, and earned the title of the Lone Ranger for his frequent dissenting opinions. Rehnquist's death makes for the seond time when there has been two vacancies on the Court at once. Interesting fact: he did not intend to go into law originally, but then discovered his aptitude for it. He graduated first in his class at Stanford, which was also where he dated O'Connor briefly. I like how even in one of the highest political circles of the country there is evidence that they are normal people after all.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
I really liked the exercises we were given in class to work on. Of course, it was difficult opening the door to all my memories. But as I say, you face life head on and accept the good with the bad. The first exercise we were given was to write a personal ad for someone we knew. I chose my sister.
Almost 36 year old female looking for someone to grow old with. Am somewhat introverted, but do enjoy the presence and company of close friends. May be hard to get to know initially. Don't be surprised if I glare at you at first, because usually the meaner I am shows the more I like you. Intensely loyal, have learned to recognize that being happy alone is the first step to being happy with someone else. Enjoy blues, jazz, and shopping.
The next exercise we were given was to write down a list of "I remembers."
- how scared I felt when I realized that I was really moving to Iowa City for school.
- getting up at 6 a.m. to get to work early and putting pink, purple and green post-its all over M's office my last day there.
- saying goodbye and hugging Lisa at the airport and crying. Goodbyes are always hard. Sometimes it seems that the goodbyes are all I can remember.
- thinking now was a time for a fresh beginning in every sense.
- how happy I felt everytime I saw him again.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Are all moms certifiably insane just by virtue of being moms? Or is it just my mother? I called my mom just to chat and see how she and my dad were doing. She told me my black sheep brother called them.
Whenever they tell me anything he did or said, it's practically entrapment. Like I said, nothing I ever say is right. They basically just wait for me to say something and then pounce on it and rant bitterly about him.
Here is another story to illustrate. My mother used to own a small grocery/convenience store. I often worked or just hung out there. I remember one day particularly vividly. I was around the tender adolescent age of 12 or 13, and a boy was in the shop buying stuff. He looked at me, and asked if I had a boyfriend. My mother, upon hearing this, flew into a rage and chased him out the door with a broom and threatened to kill him if he ever came back.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Ok, I haven't been the happiest person lately, what with the things going on in my life. One of them is me starting to seriously doubt if law school is right for me. Alright, so what else would I be doing then? I"m not sure. Anyway, I've been having my moods of self-doubt and uncertainty, which makes reading for class fairly difficult. My mentality is, why read for class if I'm not sure I'm going to be here? Of course, at the same time if I am going to stick it out the last thing I want to do is shoot myself in the foot by not reading for class. The whole thing has had me coming home at nights and laying around like a pool of silly putty on my bed staring out my window wondering what's going to happen.
Well, today I decided to ignore my problems temporarily at least, and get going on some stuff. I started out with some laundry. Went out to lunch, came back and popped the laundry into one dryer. Came back later to pick it up, and almost cried at what I saw. There were hot pink splotches randomly on all my clothes, especially the whites. I always check my pockets, but somehow a tube of lipgloss got through, became uncapped in the dryer, and them proceeded to melt itself all over my favorite white clothes. It's funny how the little things are the ones likely to push you over the edge when you're already hovering near it. I swear, at that moment I felt like God was either testing me or laughing at me. Maybe both. I took the clothes, put a full serving of bleach into the washer, ran them through, nuh uh. Nada. Still bright pink splotches. I shook my fist at the ceiling. Sure, mess with my career choices in life, turn me into someone homeless because I have no money. But NOT the clothes!!!
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Today's quote: Mo cuishle.
It was rather weird going to the first day of classes today and seeing all the 1Ls swarming about. They looked like shiny new pennies. Seeing them made me feel like a tried-and-true veteran. Well...not really. Actually I felt like a 1L pretending to be a 2L. Anyhoo, it was just weird going to classes that weren't core classes, just subjects I picked all for fun. It makes for a busy schedule, but right now fresh starts and keeping busy are very important. I just hope that I settle into the schedule of things quickly so that I stop feeling crazily out of place.
At least I have a favorable impression of all of my teachers this semester, and the subjects are very promising as far as interest goes. Hopefully I'll be able to stay in school to enjoy the classes this semester, because I don't have any financial aid right now. I'm waiting to see what I can do with private loans or if there will be some kind of financial aid award last minute after all. If I don't get the money I'll be forced to withdraw, because no mula = no school. It's a little freakish considering what I will do if I end up being forced to take a semester off. I just told my parents yesterday about my problem, and understandably they weren't happy. I guess they're afraid that if I do take a semester off I'll end up never going back. They just don't understand. I'll be damned if I let my first year of law school go to waste, not to mention all the debt I have incurred so far. Nuh uh, back to school I will be going later to get the stupid degree to at least hang on my wall, even if I don't end up practicing law. They really needn't worry about that.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
So it's really weird coming back and seeing all the 1Ls studying their intro to law books soooo intently. I wonder to myself, did I look that serious last year? I don't think so. I've never really been that concerned about grades, and never thought that they were the end-all to everything. Sure, I cared. Somewhere way back I learned that you gotta loosen up and let things happen naturally. If a 1L came up to me and asked me for advice, I'd say that you give it your all, but don't let it destroy you. Relax and have some fun once in a while.
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Sudden insomnia...I don't know why. I haven't slept all night, and I'm still wide awake. Is it stress? I have no idea. Seems a bit early for the stress insomnia to hit when the semester hasn't even started :D
I must be getting old, most of the music videos I saw on MTV seemed awfully stupid. Maudlin alternative videos, the typical hoochy/rich car-infested rap videos, etc. One thing: props to Missy for losing so much weight, I'm sure she feels healthier now. And Bow Wow is so buff for such a skinny little guy! I feel really old now that I realize he's dropped the "lil."
So I was discussing Dakota Fanning with a friend who was also up at this ungodly hour. What's the general take on her? I think she's been very good in the roles she's been cast in, but I also think she can only do serious roles. Whenever she laughs it looks a bit freakish to me. Maybe it's because she appears to be a 45 year old peeking out of a child's body?
And what is this stupid Kept show on VH1? I have to admit it's somewhat entertaining to watch sometimes, especially when the guys were forced to play polo against a bunch of little girls (most of them were bouncing around on their horses like sacks of limp potatoes :D), but the show got really stupid when there was a hypnosis episode. Puh-leeeeze. Like we're going to believe that bullshit really happens and that these guys are honestly hypnotized? The entire premise of the show just seems retarded to begin with. In fact, I didn't know what the premise was and had to look it up. It's not as easily apparent just from watching the show like it would be on Apprentice or American Idol what they're competing for. Apparently the guys are competing to share in Jerry's life of luxury and attend all the glitzy functions with her as her date. Uh huh. I think they get some money too, $100k?
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Alright. I admit it. I was at Barnes & Nobles with the rest of the crazies last night, waiting to buy the newest Harry Potter book, because I wanted to read it too. After having a mild sense of loneliness and feeling that Iowa City was somewhat deserted over the summer, it was quite a shock to enter B&N at 11:20pm and see the masses of people crowded around, dressed in various HP dress. Literally, there was hardly any room to maneuver anywhere. So I picked up my wristband (the one for those who had reserved a copy in advance) and gaped in dismay at my number: 358. Apparently people had come as early as 6pm to get their wristbands. I cursed myself, wondering why I hadn't treated this like an opening night at the movies (where I go the day before to buy tickets, and then show up 45 minutes before the movie is due to let in to stand in line to make sure I get good seats). Whatever. I wandered around for about 20 minutes trying to find a spot on the floor somewhere in the store where I could sit. I found a corner of the store, conveniently in front of the copies of Digital Fortress, and proceeded to camp out and glare at anyone who tried to encroach on my territory.
The unveiling happened at midnight sharp, whereupon the staff told us we'd be called in groups of 50 according to the numbers on our wristbands to buy. Stupid me, I fell for it again. I am always the one who follows the rules. I stop for stoplights at 3am, even when there are no other cars on the street. I'm the one who will wait to have my seat numbers called on the airplane even if there's no one else waiting to board. It's not like I want to always abide by the rules, but it seems that the one time I try to slip by, I get reprimanded sharply at the least, or publicly yelled at and humiliated at the worst. Case in point: I got a ticket from a cop because I crossed against the Don't Walk sign, when someone else had done it about 6 feet in front of me. And the ticket was $91!!! So I actually waited an hour, and finally started to get impatient. That's when I asked a staff member how long it would be until they called the 300's, only to have her stare at me as if I was daft. She couldn't believe that I'd actually waited my turn, and told me to go get a copy. Apparently even people who hadn't reserved a copy had gotten theirs before me. It made me think of every moment I had stood in line to get waited on at a cashier's, only to have them dash away to answer a phone for another 15 minutes for a customer who hadn't even bothered to make the trip to the actual place like I did. I had a moment of feeling angry, and then shrugged. So what if I'm not totally cutthroat and ready to get what's "mine"? I finally got my copy and left. However, what came to mind was one question: why should I bother following the rules if even the people who made them don't follow them?
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Do you ever wonder what possesses some people to do or say the things they do in class? Right now, I am confronted with a very irritating example of a gunner in summer school.
Day 1: I was overwhelmed with the most shockingly violent urge to smack the person as they prattled on about the "genius of the American constitution" or the "great Iowan so-and-so."
Day 2: Someone else in class did the classic cough/stage whisper "Who cares" when the person tried to do the same thing again.
Day 3: The person sat silently throughout the lecture.
Now, it's a shame when someone feels restricted by others from freely expressing themselves, but it's also another matter when they speak of subjects that really bear no relevance to the course. It's also quite disrespectful when the student in question takes on an aggressive stance towards the professor, almost of the attitude that the student knows better. I think I could put up with almost any amount of rambling or going off on tangents, but it's that last part that really pissed me off. I've always been taught that once you enter the classroom you set aside any notions of your own superiority, because it is here where you are a student to that teacher. Sure, teachers are wrong sometimes and maybe some corrections are needed. But the kind of blatant aggression displayed towards the professor seemed very out-of-line to me. I don't know if someone else spoke their mind to that person, but they seem to have temporarily become quiet. At least the professor seemed to bear it all in good humor, even if most of us students most certainly did not.
To a large degree, I've noticed a fair amount of cockiness in law students, but really no more than to be expected. But there is a line that is crossed when that cockiness is displayed to a professor, coupled with an attitude of condescension. What is going on here?
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Ok, so I finally managed to convince myself to stop playing warcrack, and get back to some semblance of normal life. Of course, things are going to be hectic very soon, what with working, finals, and moving to a new apartment all at once. Not looking forward to any of it, especially not the moving thing. Let's see...in undergrad I rarely stayed in any place for even one year, and usually moved out around the 6-8 month mark. Reasons? Either hated my roommates or wanted to be closer to campus. Reason for moving this time? Hated the neighbors. It was funny hearing that the landlords were reducing my rent after all if I decided to stay since they were having such trouble finding people to sign on. Instead of raising the rent to $600, it is now $550. Still, no deal! I found myself a nice apartment in Seville, and hopefully life will be more pleasant and less filled with angry plots to make their lives as miserable as they made mine. I guess I can take the Iowa PD off my speed dial too, ha.
One thing...what is going on with the annoying move-in/out dates? These places have all the flexibility of a steel rod. Almost every place I've heard of makes you move out July 30, whereas almost every place also will not let you move in till August 1. Where is the justice??? What the hell am I supposed to do with my stuff and my pets for the two days? As if moving all my stuff around wasn't annoying enough, but add to that fact the problem that it's very likely I'll have to move my stuff twice puts me in a foul mood. So....anyone up for a moving party?
Saturday, June 25, 2005
I desperately need to get away from Iowa City. I can live without the shopping since I already owe so much on credit cards, but I need to eat decent food sometime. I heard a summer entrant complain bitterly aboout Iowa the other day, and I just looked at her. She just got here. I've been here for a year now. One year with no shopping, no internet of my own, no food. And my parents wonder why I've lost 10 pounds since I've been here? Bridget Jones needs to try this diet.
Since some of the summer entrants have been wondering about places to eat, I thought I'd share what I think. Here are some of the restaurants that I have tried:
Peking Buffet: Fair-sized buffet, pretty cheap too since I usually pay about $6-7 a meal there. Don't hope for any real selection of desserts there though, the best part of the buffet is the mongolian grill. Cheaper than HuHott, and basically (HuHott is a little fancier with their special sauces, but also more expensive) the same thing without the heinous wait during peak mealtimes.
Thai Flavors: Not so great on Thai food...but great customer service with a very friendly attitude. Apparently friendly to helping student orgs with raising money too. The tom yum soup is pretty good, and the duck isn't so bad either.
Thai Spice: Decent Thai food, not so great on service. If you go there, plan to wait at least 20 minutes for food to arrive. A little shorter if you go at odd times, like 3pm, and maybe a little longer if you go during peak mealtimes. So far in the all the times I've gone there, I've had to wait 5 minutes before anyone even appeared to seat me, once had to wait 2 hours for food to arrive because I was in a large group, had the waiter bang down water and slosh it onto me, had to wait 15 minutes after I asked for the check for it to actually arrive. So why do I keep going back? Maybe b/c of their pineapple fried rice and tom yum soup. Overall, it's way better to order food to go at this place.
Hamburger Inn: Not so bad of a diner type place, but not fabulous either. The quality of the food is not worth the prices and indifferent service.
Yen Ching: Ok Chinese food. Since I love Chinese food so much, it's pretty hard for a Chinese restaurant to mess up for me. Service is neutral, food is ok. Certain dishes are better than others, and I really like the yu-shiang shrimp/chicken dish there, along with the fish they specially cook. Pretty much same comments for Hunan.
Devotay: Food seemed good, but a bit pricey for a starving law student like myself. Service was pretty good too, and it has a cozy atmosphere. Just can't afford to eat there everyday.
Aoshe: the only Korean restaurant around since that other one closed down, so it wins by default. They also have a sushi menu there, but I don't think that's the place to go for sushi. The food here is ok, be careful if you're not into spicy foods. Service is not that great.
Sushi Popo: ok...so far the best roll I've liked is the LA roll. I tried some of the non-sushi dishes, and wished I hadn't. It's ok, but for better maybe try Three Samurai or the one downtown (I forget one it's called, near Dublin bar).
Zio's: pasta and other Italian type foods. Served very quickly. The people are really nice, and food is pretty cheap.
The Rack: pretty good food, try to order in advance or you might end up waiting a bit. They could do with better ventilation in there.
Overall, I'm pretty sick of all the places to eat around here, so I should cook more. I'm just not motivated to very much, and have been eating ramen for the past couple days. I spose I should venture out to Cedar Rapids and try some restaurants there...maybe I'll hit it up and go shopping at the malls there at the same time.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
After spending my time immersed in that devil game for the last month and a half, I have finally hit level 60 and am now just about ready to quit. So what if Otsu isn't dressed in all epics (actually she doesn't even have all her Wildheart), I don't care. I have awakened to find myself surrounded by dust everywhere, a further diminishing eyesight, and bills that are 2 months late on everything. Not to mention my family and friends who were ignored for this long. All I can say is that I'm really sorry.
Anyway, I'm also surrounded by a pile of magazines that date as far back as 3 months ago. So today I tried to get my crap together and paid off all my bills (except for the summer school bill cuz I forgot to file for summer financial aid), and tried to bring back some semblance of order into my life. I almost feel like everything is in a shambles around me...and I'm almost tempted to just re-sign my lease to apartment even thought I really hate it, the realty managing company, and the thin walls.
I hope people are doing fun stuff for the summer-- I plan to make a trip to Chicago sometime and maybe also Minneapolis. Any suggestions on what to do in Chicago?
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Went home to visit parents, and lo and behold, right when I'd thought I could kick back and relax and let my mind vegetate, my dad busts out a marine vessel manual and tells me to study it because he's making me take the freaking test. Why??? I have no freaking idea. So after falling asleep several times trying to memorize the stupid colors and names of the sides of the boat (why can't they just say left, right instead of this port, starboard crap) I woke up the day of the test realizing I'd read about half of it. I remember muttering to myself that this was absolutely ridiculous that someone who'd succesfully passed the first year of law school was afraid of a dinky vessel operating test. I reminded myself that I could take the test the next day if I failed, so I sailed forth merrily on my way, leaving dad at home (in case I failed). Luckily, I passed the first time. So now I have yet one more useless license. And get this, I got issued another hard copy of a driver's license, and they didn't destroy my old one, so now I have two. Tsk, tsk I say, they're just leaving the door wide open for someone to use my id to get into 21+ areas.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Summer is here! I don't really care what my grades are as long as I pass. I'm just glad to get these core classes over with so that I can really learn something interesting. I'm determined to have my fun this summer before I have to start my summer classes. I honestly wish that I didn't have to take the summer classes, but I'd heard from several people that it would be good to get PR out of the way to try to lighten my next semester, and also other classes to boost my gpa.
Otherwise, this will be the perfect opportunity to catch up on movies, play some WoW, maybe try out Guild Wars and Ragnarok, and just kick back and relax. Next week I'm visiting my parents and I know my dad is going to take me fishing. Ha.
Oh yeah, I guess I should look for another place to live too.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
I don't know, but it just doesn't feel like finals to me. It feels more like I'm walking through a haze where I happen to take tests sometimes. Of course, the property final was not fun, and helped reality come back a little more. I still can't believe how long the essay on the test was. Thankfully I took the test on my laptop, but even then I felt like I could type fast enough. I tried to spend the suggested allotted time on the two portions, but now I wish I had spent less time on the MC and a little more time on the essay. I can't imagine what the score distribution is going to be like for the class, because I heard a lot of people who chose to hand-write the essay didn't finish.
Eh, I'd heard that Hovey's finals would be somewhat hard, but goodness. And the MC were evil, with the typical d) Both A & C, or e) At least two of the above are true, or f) None of the above. YUCK.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Well, it's back to the feeling of trying to bandage too many wounds at once again. Too many outlines to try to finish, and memorize all those flashcards at the same time..agh.
At least I've discovered this website for Iowa City, MaidPerfect. Sounds like I'll be calling them when I move out of my crappy apartment at the end of July. I'll be so glad to get the hell away from my stupid neighbors, they're constantly fighting, doing drugs, and making everyone around them miserable. I just had them evicted for the third time this past Friday. That's what they get for being bigots.
This just in: apparently I got a few visits by people who did Yahoo! searches for little girl porn & sm. That is freaking disturbing.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Omg, just spend the last 20 minutes crying. I had an early dinner, which started with an appetizer of a small cup of chili with a hot pepper on the side. I picked up the pepper with my fingers and ate some of it, and after dinner I went home and took a nap. I'd forgotten to take my contacts out, so when I woke up they were all gummy. This is what led me to the fatal step: I took out the contacts and rinsed them with solution and put one of them back in. It hurt like a MOFO. Then I tried to take it back out which only aggravated it more. I guess I didn't wash my fingertips thoroughly enough, because my eye has never felt such extreme burning pain before. So after shedding a copious amount of tears, and much rinsing of the offending contact and hands, I finally put the contact back in and gritted my teeth. It was impossible to completely get all of it off because it still hurt, but eventually subsided. Maybe my bitchy roommate was right, I need to live in a bubble b/c I hurt myself in the most ridiculous ways.
But on the plus side, I had the cheapeast dinner ever, at Lone Star on 2nd Ave. Is it ave or st? You know, the street Peking Buffet and Applebee's is on, the hwy. Anyway, they have the most fantastic hot links, 2 for $3.49. I asked them to make hot dogs out of them, which they did at no extra charge. I am such a sucker for a good hot dog, and I loooove hot links. So far, this is the only place I've found in the entire city with a decent wiener on the menu. Just remind me not to handle their peppers with my bare fingers again.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Props to MN 3L guy, who said,
>>Half the problem with finals is the wankers who run around babbling about it (i.e. "OMG my outline is like so like not done like OMG." OR "I spend my life studying 24-7")
Here's what you do: take it easy. Don't care what others do. I think it's best to not talk to others during finals. (This may be easier for me since I hardly ever talk to them anyway--I can have a better conversation with the retarded guy at Fuddrucker's.)
If you want to really fuck with people, carry around a stack of paper the last week of classes and call it your "outline."<<
Puhahaha. You're awesome.
Yeah, seriously. As soon as I walk into school it's like getting rammed in the gut with stress. I see people running around talking about their outlines, and how much they have done, or what's even worse is seeing some people who have their finished outlines in class flipping through them as the professors are giving their closing speeches. It's all well and good for them, but it makes me feel sick to my stomach. Of course, then you have to deal with your friends. Some of them don't seem to care, and you wonder what planet they're on, and some of them are running like chickens with their heads cut off babbling about some inconsequential crap, and you wonder what planet they're on. As someone's desktop background says, "Shut the fuck up." One of my friends has gone back to smoking like a chimney, and every time I see him I wonder if he's going to have a nervous breakdown. One day I'm just gonna have to slap him silly to get him to shut up about goddamn outlines. I can only expend so much of my own energy trying to calm people down, but after a while it's too much and I just want to run away and hide myself from this mess.
Well I was actually sad that civ pro is over, and I thought that his personally made evals were hilarious. He's such a nice guy that I'm sure I'll take some other class with him in the future. Last year when he taught civ pro he only gave out 9 C's, which is doing quite well in a class of our size. Hopefully I won't be one of those 9 this year.
Monday, April 18, 2005
Aghhh...finals, yuck. What's weird is that I'm not even overly concerned about them, or about outlining. I suppose I'll eventually outline or something, but I don't think that's my most effective way of reviewing, more talking is better for me I think. What kills me is that everyone has always said, "Don't worry, you'll find what works for you..." blah blah yadda yadda. What I demand to know is, how'm I supposed to find out what works after only one semester under my belt? As we all know, one instance does not establish a pattern. I am still trying on different hats, seeking the one that fits best. Of course what sucks the most is that these 1L grades are gonna be the only things recruiters see when we do our crazy OCI stuff next fall, so I am feeling the pressure. Not to mention that I absolutely HATE these subjects this semester. Greeeeat.
The other thing is, everyone I know is also obsessed with applying to journals too (does anyone else hate how uber-competitive everything is?), so some of the people I know aren't even concentrating on finals right now, since they want to turn in their Transnational Law Journal App. I have to say that journal is the one I'm not going to apply for. I have no interest in the area, period. My top picks are Journal of Gender, Race and Justice, and Journal of Corporation Law, and then Iowa Law Review coming in a distant third. I don't even want to apply to ILR, except that I feel that I have to maximize my chances of getting onto a journal, especially if I'm not applying to Trans. Chances are, I won't make in onto any of them because I absolutely stink as a legal writer.
Sidebar: Here are some cute links to watch if you were ever a fan of Nintendo, especially Super Mario Bros., and Zelda. Make sure you have your sound turned on!
Crazy Video Game Pianist
Saturday, April 16, 2005
That sounds like it could have been me.
Anyway, I didn't look at my blog for a few days, and when I came back I found a deluge of comments to read. I think it's very entertaining to read what people have had to say, although the subject is assuredly not funny. I was talking about it with one of my friends, who unfortunately was a victim of a sex offender and she thinks that such people never fully recover. I look at her, and then I look at my dad, who lost two fingers in a boating accident, and I tend to agree. She described the main problem as being that you never fully shake off the feeling of being forever tainted, or dirty. My father on the other hand, just expresses wistfully that sometimes he wishes he had his fingers back, but their absence doesn't impair his living too badly. Since I always grew up with him like that, it just seemed normal to me, and since they're from his left hand, his writing abilities haven't even been diminished.
Maybe it's like trying to compare apples with oranges, but to me it seems that my father has coped as well as possible, whereas the same could not be said of my friend.
I think part of the whole red-hot controversy is that sex is so taboo as a subject in the US, and this makes it seem all the more shocking when children are the ones who have been violated in such a manner. We all seem to buy into the idea that children should be innocent for as long as possible, and we really go after those who dare to take away such a precious privilege of childhood. And then again, it's always going to be those who have experienced such a terrible thing, and those of us who have not. The view that such unfortunates have will always be different because their lives have been altered forever.
Um, it's going to be finals soon...I really hate school.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Yes, yes, I know it's been a while. First, I was just taking a break and doing other things. Then, I fell off a swing and sprained two fingers, so it's been a bit of a bitch trying to type. With two swollen fingers, it's interesting trying to keep up with lectures. Half the time I'm not able to, so my notes seem like a bunch of incoherent ramblings. (Ha, not so different from this blog?)
Looking through the comments, I found one notable: http://www.criminalcheck.com/.
It seems a bit shocking to me that this exists, isn't this some sort of invasion of privacy? I have very conflicted feelings about the whole notifying the authorities every time a sex offender moves and all that. The fair side of me feels that even criminals have rights which should not be violated. But my more honest reaction is that criminals should burn in hell for what they did. Basically, if you don't act like a decent human being, why should you expect to be treated like one? Sure, it all depends on the level of their transgression, and some people do deserve a second chance. But you know the saying, "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me." To me it seems that the more serious the offense, the less probable it should be to get a second chance for fear of a repeat. If there was a repeat murder it would be with very grave consequences, whereas letting someone convicted of larceny have a second chance isn't quite so bad. Not quite so life-threateningly serious if they have a chance at a repeat. Of course, things are so rarely black and white, and it's a very murky area to work with.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
This is what I came across, so then of course I had to look up its matching accessory, below..
If anyone is interested in actually buying it, you can find them here, at I Want One of Those.
What I want to know is, won't those pieces of candy just come rolling off if you break a string somewhere? Very interesting.
I'm happy to say that we have the last piece of our puzzle. A = Saturn.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
E = Zales
K = Burger King
W = Mountain Dew
So what is the A??
Go figure, no wonder I didn't get Burger King or Mountain Dew. I don't eat fast food, and I don't drink Mountain Dew, especially b/c of LD-40 (is it LD? Not sure. Anyway, it's something supposed to marginally affect impotency in men or some such bs. I just always thought it was weird drinking something that looked like highlighter fluid.)
Alright, here's the comprehensive list of the logos and brands matched up so far. There are only a few left that have not been solved. I have so many people asking me what letters are which brands that I've decided to post the results gathered till now.
M= Samuel Adams Brewing
We still don't have A, E, K, and W. Wow, overall this group effort thing is working out pretty well. The only hard one I got was the "R", don't ask me how I guessed that. I'm ashamed to say that I didn't get Blockbuster, and I used to work for that devil. Ugh. Mostly all of the ones I'd gotten on my own are food brands. You can tell what I'm staring at most of the time.
Monday, April 04, 2005
It's hoooot. Although the break from the bitter cold is quite welcome, it's a bit of a double-edged sword for me. I've always been sensitive to smells, and when it gets hot is when BO runs the most rampant. Also, it's freaking hot, but I'm a little self-conscious of wearing shorts or skirts. That's because I was cursed with the roommate from hell about 3 years ago. She was constantly making fun of how I looked. She called me Big Bird (saying that I have skinny extremities and a bigger body), said I had a flat butt, told me I needed to work out, and said I should live in a padded room (because I'm a bit clumsy and tend to bump into things and frequently suffer minor bruises and scrapes). So, I'm afraid of showing my Big Bird legs. I hate that bitch.
It's my mom's birthday this Friday. What should I get her? Shopping for Mom's birthday is always heinously difficult. If I don't spend enough, she'll say something like "What, you don't love your mother? I only carried you for nine months, and almost died in C-section giving birth to you. I didn't have to listen to that Catholic nun who persuaded me not to have an abortion." But then if I try to get her something nice, it's "Honey, you're a student. Why are you trying to act like you're rich when you're not? Are you dealing drugs? Is there something you want to tell me? You could have just gotten me a card and that would have been enough." BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!! The only thing that came to mind was going home to surprise her. Or send flowers. No, scratch the flowers, because she always asks why I get them, when they're going to die.
On another note, I've been playing the Alphabet Game again. See below.
Right now I'm stuck on about half of these. These are snippets of famous logos, and you have to guess the right brand with the letter shown. I need help with these. Let's start with A. Any ideas on it? So far, I've got C, G, H, J, L, Q, R, S, T, V, X, Y, and Z. All the rest I am stumped on right now.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
I must really not be a morning person. It is incredibly difficult getting up before 10am for me, and I can bet that I'm going to be a super grumpy person come Monday morning. Yuck. I have no idea how I ever got up in time to go to high school. Our school started at 7:15 every day, and when DST kicked in I had always had a really hard time adjusting.
Oh, one of the questions in FHM asked who was the president during WWI, and I only got it right because I'd read the Anne of Green Gables series. The very last book was set during WWI, and the characters mentioned the politicians of the day quite frequently. Isn't it weird how we glean knowledge in the most unexpected places?
The Pope has passed away. Strange, I had held on to the belief that it wouldn't actually happen. Somehow, I always think that bad stuff can never happen to famous people. Maybe that's why I was so shocked when Princess Di, Aaliyah, and all the others died. I always feel a bit gobsmacked, like no way, that can't really be happening.
On a flippant note, I was taking the "How Dumb Are You" quiz in FHM magazine, and the answer is, apparently I'm quite dumb. I missed half of the questions. Here are some of the questions I missed:
2) Name either of the official languages of Afghanistan.
6) What were the Wright brothers' first names? (I only got one of these.)
8) Match the planets with the pictures (they're all in order, and I mixed up the last three).
11) Name just one of Charlie Chaplin's movies.
12) Name two of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. (I only got one)
14) Mt. Everest straddles two countries. Name one.
18) Who's the dude on the dime?
19) Mexico is directly south of the U.S. Two countries touch the southern border of Mexico. Can you name one?
20) Who wrote War and Peace?
How many of you know the answers to these (without looking them up on the internet, obviously)? Right now, I feel as bright as Bridget Jones in the Edge of Reason when she was caught not knowing where Germany was.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Johnnie Cochran? Hm...the only thing that comes to mind is that a certain town in a Southern state is probably assembling to dance on his grave. You know how in our civ pro text it says that in class action lawsuits the fees are more about the attorney's fees? Yeaaah. This town was a typical one, except one of those industrial factories came in and dumped straight into the water supply. The result? More than 25% of the children were born with missing limbs, and even older people who were just exposed to the water developed cancer. I read one particularly horrifying account of a small family that walked to school every morning, and one of the little boys had a fascination with lingering in the polluted stream right outside of the factory. The boy died before he was 30, with massive complications from several illnesses. Anyway, good ole Johnny somehow got wind of this, and swooped down upon them. Everyone thought he was their savior. After the lawsuit was settled, the shocking truth came out. After attorney's fees, the average plaintiff received approximately $300. I'm surprised they didn't try to tar and feather Johnnie. Needless to say, his name is mud in that town.
Monday, March 28, 2005
Sunday, March 27, 2005
How am I supposed to deal with the most freaking insane parents in the world? They think that when they call me I'll just automatically drop everything to talk to them. Today, for instance, they called right when I was in the middle of cooking dinner. Three pots going on the stove, and the bloody phone rings. I go to pick it up, like an idiot, and it's my parents! I'm the idiot, because the phone I answered with is corded, so I'm a prisoner to the wall, while my stove is on, cooking merrily away without yours truly. My dad always calls me to ask how to do things, like what does this red blinking light on the fax machine mean, or how do you change the print options in the menu, etc. I don't mind helping anyone, but he always asks me how to do things that obviously require someone being there to know 1) what the hell he's talking about, and 2) what the hell he's talking about. Ugh. So I finally came to my senses and switched phones. By the time I got back to the stove, stuff was burning, or splattering away. I started swearing like a banshee because I got burned by two splatters, and my dad kept asking me why something looked like it didn't fit into the cd changer. Finally I lost my temper, and repeated for the third time that I wasn't there, I don't know why it didn't fit. Dad got really mad and said my attitude was shitty, and hung up on me. I really don't think my parents know the meaning of "reasonable."
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Cyberbullying, in which school kids anonymously spread gossip online, is an epidemic authorities find hard to stop
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
The rise of cyberbullying -- the use of new communication technology to hurt others -- is affecting more and more middle and high school students, experts say. It's an insidious new form of bullying because those who do it can harass their victims anonymously, and away from adults' notice.
Parry Aftab, director of the national WiredSafety.org, an online safety group, said 55 to 60 percent of the 1,000 students ages 9-14 she polls each month have been involved in a cyberbullying incident.
"The problem is bad and it's getting worse. It's getting worse because it's so easy, and kids are bored or angry," Aftab said from her New Jersey office. "It's growing because parents are putting powerful technology into their kids' hands and they are clueless about what that technology is. Parents don't know half the time what text messages are or that kids take pictures of other kids in locker rooms with their cell phones."
"It's like an electronic Dodge City," said Tim Drilling, principal of Lake Oswego's Lakeridge High School, referring to the brawling town in the long-running "Gunsmoke" television series. "Nobody seems to respect the behavioral norms -- it's wide open, people seem to be able to say whatever they want. You can be anonymous, and that seems to make people feel very free."
Attacks are vicious because the senders can be anonymous, said Nancy Willard, director of the Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use in Eugene. "The social norms online seem to encourage disinhibition. Also, students often don't have any tangible feedback about how they're affecting someone."
Devin -- the school newspaper's page design editor -- taps a few keys, and up pops a Web log that depicts him as jealous, small-minded and incompetent. The same Web log also aims insults at other classmates and teachers.
Stevie Viaene, a web design teacher at Tigard High School, says "Kids have been driven to tears by some very nasty e-mails. Lots of kids spend a lot of time blogging, and putting scathing things about other students on them."
While parents have struggled to understand how cyberbullying happens, schools are only beginning to look for ways to fight it. Cyberbullying often happens off school premises and after hours, and experts say much of it is protected by free speech. If schools can identify the students who are doing it, they take measures to stop the cyberbullying, but tracking messages and Web log entries requires serious detective work.
At least one lawmaker has taken steps to help schools. Sen. Jeanne Kohl-Welles, D-Seattle, has proposed legislation that would require school harassment policies to prohibit cyberbullying.
In the meantime, Aftab said, schools can do a few things to help stop the abuse. They can establish an anonymous tip phone line for those who witness cyberbullying, and organize student-run awareness campaigns about cyberbullying. She also advocates awareness workshops for educators, parents and community leaders.
"They have to do something about this now. I couldn't stand it if this happened to one other child," said the mother of the Lake Oswego girl who moved to another school after cyberbullying demolished her social life, as well as her ability to focus in class. "That's the only reason we came forward. Others have to know how much it hurts."
Kate Taylor: 503-294-5116; email@example.com
Well, well. How interesting. Dear Iowa Law community, this "cyberbullying" thing seems to hit a little too close to home. One thing I disagreed with was how the article seemed to imply that kids are the most hurt by blogs. Although she did not state such a thing, the article seems slanted that way. Maybe she could have included how widespread these kinds of things are in the real world, like how people have lost their jobs because of blogs.
Does anyone else get bombarded with friends calling you demanding advice on what to do in their problems? My family and friends keep calling me every now and then giving me some problem and asking me if it's in their best interests to sue, or how else to deal with it. Everyone knows that the best thing to do is resolve the situation without resorting to going to court, but what do I know? I'm just a 1L.
Note: I DO NOT give anyone legal advice. I always tell them I don't know anything, and to go seek professional counsel. I only think about these situations in the context as if a hypo given in class, and how I would address these hypos if given on an exam.
For instance, my friend, an administrative assistant, called me a few months back, absolutely hysterical. She'd made a mistake of some kind on obtaining information that resulted in costing her boss a whole day in fruitless activity. Anyway, while he was spending the day finding out that what she'd told him was a huge mistake, my friend had taken the afternoon off for her dental appointment. Therefore, she was not in the position to answer her phone. When she left the office, she saw that she had a voice mail from him. She checked it, and listened to the most crazily obscene and profane message, calling her "a stupid bitch who was going to be in big trouble, and why wasn't she picking up the fucking phone" etc. Apparently, every other word was profanity. In her panic, she deleted the voicemail because she didn't want to hear anymore of it. I told her that was a big mistake to begin with, you never delete evidence, just common sense.
Then, the next day she went to work, he demanded to see her. The co-president had forewarned her to be as subdued as possible, because the man had been ranting about wanting to fire my friend. So she goes in, and sits down. He begins with, "How much do you make here?" Basically, everyone there knew that my friend had just purchased a new home. She was struggling to meet the mortgage payments on her measly salary, and everyone at the company knew this. So it was especially heinous that he played that card. He went on to disparage her past work, saying she just wasn't up to par, and made her feel like life wasn't even worth living. This was the first mistake she'd ever made.
A few days later she called me, and asked me if there was anything that she could do. I told her she'd have to go see an attorney for this kind of thing, since I didn't know much about it. The only thing that I could think of was that it sounded a lot like IIED, so I went through the prima facie case for it, and I'd thought she might be able to have a decent case, except for the fact that she'd deleted that voicemail. If she'd been able to obtain testimony from other workers at the company about his frequent rages and how he just fired people at a whim (this was a frequent pattern), maybe it would have made up for it. But everyone was so terrified of the man that she was sure that no one would help her for fear of retaliatory consequences at work. I told her that she should go find counsel (maybe at a clinic since it might be cheaper), who might tell her to go see a shrink and obtain medical documentation to establish expert evidence. Plus, I'm sure the fact that the company is a private corporation will have some impact on this. I called my old workplace to ask an attorney what she thought, and she said that employees have a very difficult time winning lawsuits against private employers for this kind of thing.
It really sucks knowing that my friends and family are out there having these problems, and there's nothing that I can do about it. This was exactly the kind of thing that I'd hoped to remedy by entering the legal profession. At times like this, I feel like I'm not learning fast enough.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Just thought it was funny. I heard on the radio this morning how they'd somehow messed up the numbers for calling in and voting last night, so they're having to redo the voting tonight, and then hold the result show tomorrow night. It's all very fishy to me. Either someone was really stupid and lost their job over this, or this was a cleverly engineered ploy to gain more airspace for the hottest show on television. Hm, I wonder which?
I have to agree with Professor Yin on his assessment of the Idols. My favorite pick, Mario, is gone and I'm very sad. He was hot and could sing! The total package. I bet he can dance too, which would make him an ultimate triple threat. I just hope that Mikalah gets voted off. She seems like a sweet gal, but I just can't stand hearing that girl speak. Otherwise, I was not very impressed with anyone. I liked Vonzell's song pretty well, and Anwar's (wow Chaka Khan), but for the first time I didn't like Nadia's pick. The song was the wrong range for her, and it was just blah for me. I'm waiting for someone to put on the performance of the season. Last season it was Fantasia's rendition of Summertime, and the first season it was Kelly Clarkson's rendition of Walk On By (IMO even though the judges didn't like it).
I wish they would bring back Fame, the new show, which ran about 1-2 years ago sometime in the summer (?), did anyone see it? It was singing, dancing, and performing. I'd say that the suckiest singer on that show could kick some serious ass on American Idol. I'm still of the opinion they should put real singers into a show like American Idol. How quick do you think Britney Spears would get voted off?
This reminds me, I'm debating whether to sign up for Lawlawpalooza. I still think there should be an acappella group from the school.
I wonder if Professor Hovenkamp is going to discuss Terri Schiavo like our other professors have been. It's weird, because I'd first heard about her a year ago, and I'd thought by now it would have been resolved. Obviously I was "naive and misguided." It's incredible that her parents have even offered the husband all the money if he would just divorce her, and it's even more incredible that he's refused. I don't know about others, but I would rather not be kept alive in such a fashion. Sure, maybe for a few months to see if I get better, but it's an emotional drain on the people around you to see you like this. It keeps hope alive in such a torturous way. And the financial drain! Does anyone have an estimate on how much keeping Terri Schiavo alive has cost? Not to say that there is a price on a human life, but it must be tremendous. To begin with, keeping someone on life support is crazily expensive, plus all the litigation that has gone on over the custody battles between the parents and the husband, and now with the passing of this Terri Schiavo law it means there have been even more resources devoted to this subject.
I just wonder what's going on in the husband's mind. I would think that since the parents care so much about hanging on to every hope that he should grant custody to them.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Am I the only one who's sad that LostInIowa doesn't allow comments on his blog anymore? What I don't understand is why people say disallowing comments is such a bad thing. The short-lived IA Jurist went even further than that, and dismantled his entire blog. What I find ironic about that is that he'd said early on that he would never erase or get rid of comments, but in my opinion he has done exactly that in the most final way possible.
So why is it so surprising that comments are disallowed? Why on earth would you let people say such mean things to you when you could easily avoid that? The only thing is, now no one can comment, including those of us who would like to try to take a fair view of things. Is he living in his "bubble" as one person put it? Maybe, maybe not. He knows people are pissed. Constructive criticism or an honest opinion is one thing. But people didn't stop there, and instead resorted to some nasty name-calling. I think many of us might also have disallowed comments under the circumstances. Sure, maybe what he said was not the best thing to have articulated, but I really don't think that calling someone an asshole or a douchebag is the way to get at the heart of the matter. Is it just me, or is there a chilling effect here?
Something that came up in conversation with my friend was the fact that people think of you as the person who writes the blog. They never think that sometimes it's more of a persona, and may represent an element of a person but is not truly completely representative of everything that person is. Maybe people should try to remember that passing such judgment someone's character happens in a context where the judge does not have all of the information about a person to hand, and so is not really making an informed decision. Just a thought.
I came to law school thinking that here would be a wide-ranging collection of people who would at least be reasonably intelligent and open-minded. Instead, I find some of the worst examples of intolerance I have ever seen in my life. Freedom of expression is such a precious right. But when people jump down your throat for things you say, this can create an inhibition on what that person feels free to express. If someone finds something a blogger has written about reprehensible, why not approach the subject in a dignified manner as befitting a law-student-soon-to-be-professional? Or if it's unresolvable, just don't read the blog. It's not like the blog is confronting a person wherever someone goes. Just don't read it.
People say that us bloggers are "rabid" attack dogs who spew their vicious insults at people. Well, I really think the finger-pointing goes both ways. Some of the nastiest insults I saw on blogs were the ones left by the commentors. Those of you who say that we are nasty/juvenile people spewing our immature vitriol into the mainstream? Maybe you should hold up a mirror, because most of the responses were no better.
It's very disappointing how little respect we show each other. IA Jurist said something on his blog at one point:
"Law students love to see other law students bleed a little."
What? Sure, we may enjoy seeing each other mildly discomfited occasionally, but not all of us are the social piranhas you make us out to be.