Grow up

You would think as people grow older that they would outgrow some childish habits, such as throwing a tantrum.

I've been rather busy over the last couple of weeks, with looking for a new place, moving in, moving out 5 days later, etc. Hell, I even spent one weekend in a motel because my apartment complex had been out of water for 5 days. All in all, I've been pretty stressed out.

My so-called best friend called me a couple of times during that period, and I didn't return his calls for about a week. We were used to talking quite regularly, with varying frequency; sometimes we'd talk every day, sometimes once or twice a week. Occasionally we would go for more than a week without talking.

Anyway, during my ultra-stressed-out-ready-to-have-nervous-breakdown period, I didn't take any calls. I didn't want to deal with anyone else at that time. I had enough on my plate trying to cancel my rent check to that bitch of a roommate and do a sneak moveout without her knowledge.

Apparently, J decided that not picking up the phone was to be the end of our 6 year friendship. He left a voicemail which said, "If you don't call me by the end of Tuesday, we're through." The funny thing was, I didn't get the message, but I ended up calling him on Tuesday anyway, after things had settled down a bit. He answered the phone like a bitch.

J: Oh, did I finally get your attention?
Me: What do you mean?
J: I left you a message.
Me: What did it say?
J: If you didn't call me by the end of today, then we were through.
Me: What?!

Am I just weird? Because I thought that friends were supposed to understand that you go through some crazy shit sometimes, and you may not always be there to talk. I also thought that maybe he'd grown up a bit since our college days; once he got mad at me for not wanting to hug him, as if he was entitled to receive hugs from me! Apparently, he hadn't grown beyond his childish ways if he's still capable of issuing stupid ultimatums without regard to what circumstances the other person is in.

I was so mad that I hung up on him. I didn't even see the point of explaining things. If he'd asked reasonably why I hadn't been answering his calls, then sure, I would have explained myself. But what did I do to deserve a stupid ultimatum? We haven't spoken since, and I don't think we ever will again. I'm not being melodramatic, I'm just tired of how he's been over the last couple of years. Here are some examples.

Two years ago,we briefly considered the idea of dating. We'd both just broken up with our significant others; I think that we were just on the rebound. However, I soon realized that I wasn't really attracted to him, so I told him bluntly that I couldn't see us together. He couldn't accept that, and kept pursuing the subject until I got really angry with him. We didn't talk for a couple of weeks, and then he called to apologize, and said that he wouldn't bring it up again.

A year after that, he called one day, and said he wanted to talk about "us." He proceeded to tell me that he and his friend decided that I was jerking him around, and basically keeping him around as a backup. I asked how this was so, when he lived in California and I lived in Washington. I got really angry that he was bringing up the subject of "us" again, when he'd told me repeatedly that it was a closed subject. However, I valued him as a friend, and figured that eventually he would see the truth. I did not make any threats of ending our friendship, because I loved and treasured him as a best friend.

Every now and then, he would hint or threaten that perhaps we weren't meant to be friends. He always implied that he might be better off not knowing me. All I can say is, if he really thought that, then he should have grown some fucking balls and cut me off, once and for all. After a while, the constant drama got to be irritating.

And now I get this--threats of ending our friendship over the silly fact that I was unavailable to talk for a little while? I stuck by him when he was being unreasonable, and even when he was accusing me of certain behavior that I wasn't guilty of. How is that fair? I think I've had enough of his ridiculous PMS and irrational behavior.