To work, or not to work...

Today's quote: I learned everything I know about being a woman from gay men. I learned all about sex from gay men. I kind of have sex like a gay man. I act like a gay man most of the time, actually.


Since I may not be able to get a job for next summer, I guess the next step is to maybe look for an RA-ship. But if I want to write for one of those journals it would be really hard to be a RA too. Now, as most of my friends can testify, I am one lazy bastard. I don't know if I could even handle one of those, let alone both.

Ok, I know I'm officially stressed. My hair is falling out in clumps again. The last time this happened I was prescribed Prozac because I wasn't sleeping for days.

I think I'm becoming addicted to VH1's hottest celebrity bodies show. So get this, Jada Pinkett Smith while training for the Matrix was working out like crazy. The woman is barely 5ft tall, and she can bench 170lbs. That's one LostInIowa.

Skeletal

I'm betting there aren't going to be that many people in civ pro today, nor property tomorrow. I wonder if the professor is going to retaliate for a bunch of us skipping class?

I have a stiff back today. I spent the night on my futon last night, because I was trying to take a nap from the brief. I woke up all crazy stiff and cranky because my pets were making a racket in the kitchen this morning, and it was way too bright in my living room. My bedroom is nice and dark, just the way I like it.

I can't wait until this assignment is handed in and the people I know return to normal. Everybody is so touchy these days, and easily prone to being pissed off.

I can't wait for spring break to get here.

Relieve some of that stress!

I believe most of us have our briefs due this Friday, which explains the general aura of panic in the library. Anyway, I remembered this great little game online that used to make me laugh. Play Slap the Monkey Game.

Oh, and have your sound on the first time you play it.

Simon says..

Today's quote: One side of Trish was peaches n' cream, and she was devil Satan face on the other.

I officially love California today. It would be awesome if the law school enacted this for our library, especially since hot weather will soon be approaching.

Smelly Readers Banned From Calif. Library

San Luis Obispo, CA - A new county law aims to keep readers from reeking. Libraries in San Luis Obispo County have had their own rules banning offensive body odor since 1994, but the policy became law after the Board of Supervisors last month adopted an ordinance that lets authorities kick out malodorous guests.

"What is bad odor? A woman who wears a strong perfume? A person who had a garlicky meal?"


Haha...I can't wait to see who they piss off first.

Stressed and depressed

Aghh. I went to bed at 2, but then couldn't sleep. This always happens when I'm stressed about something. Gee...I wonder what that certain 5-letter something is. I held still as possible in bed but then couldn't fall asleep. It was as if my mind kicked into overdrive because suddenly it was racing through hundreds of thoughts and images, and wouldn't stop. I watched the clock creep by: 2:32, 2:53, 3:17, all the way until 5. I fell into a fitful sleep only to wake up to my alarm at 6. Needless to say, I was swearing like a trucker while I reached over and turned it off.

This assignment is ruining my quality of life.

Martha, Martha

Today's extra quote: Martha is under house arrest for 5 months. Did you know a suicide watch was set up? Not for her, but for her staff... And you know who called her first as soon as she got out? Michael Jackson. He wanted to know what it was like being a white woman in prison.

Yeah, ok seriously. Whatever happened to wrongdoers shouldn't profit from their acts? Her stock has more than tripled since her release, and she is now valued at over $1 billion. Snap. This woman was earning $0.40/hr just a few weeks ago on cleaning duty. Anyway, not only all this, but she has a book deal in the works, 2 network shows (not one, but two), and an expansion of her furniture line. Apparently, she's going to be the new high-end Ikea. That's an oxymoron if I ever heard one. And what's up with the two network shows? Do we really need to see her on every channel telling us how to live like her? I really don't think that we need tips for insider trading. Oh yeah, and Donald Trump better watch out. Producers are talking about giving Martha her own version of the Apprentice. I feel sorry for the future contestants already. No man can be bitchy as a woman.

Lincoln Real Estate SUCKS

Today's quote: The federal commerce power covers everything except a naked man in a tree, and it covers him when he climbs down.

Why does it seem like every good thing is heralded by a really bad thing? Take spring break, for instance. Our brief is due at 4pm on Friday. I like how I'll get to recuperate over the break from probably having stayed up two nights in a row and also skipping property yet again. I bet I fail property this semester because I've missed so many classes in it. It's all small section's fault. Darn them for always putting the writing assignment due date on Fridays.

So it looks like it's nearing time to look for another apartment again. Here's a tip: DON'T LEASE WITH LINCOLN REAL ESTATE. THEY WILL SCREW YOU OVER. Their rent isn't even that competitive, plus they make you pay a $300 deposit for your pet, even though it specifically says in the lease "No pets, no exceptions." That just goes to show you that they're a bunch of money-grubbing pigs who only want more money. So here's a question: I paid two $300 deposits (that's right, a total of freaking $600) for the two pets I had when I signed on with them, and since they took my money, does this constitute a waiver of the no-pet clause? Since then I got my dog, which I never told them about, because I figured that I had paid enough in the way of pet deposits. Those bastards. Anyway, I'm wondering if they're trying to catch me with a pet, because I recently got served with a notice to remedy, saying that I had a cat. I had a huge laugh over that. So I called them back immediately, and told them I didn't have a cat. They go, "You don't have a cat?" I'm thinking, didn't you fuckin hear me the first time? "No, I do NOT have a cat." Of course, I didn't tell them that I had a dog. They wanna make my life difficult, I'm gonna make their lives difficult. As a result, they have been "showing" my apartment over the past month or so. So far they've shown it 5 times, plus one inspection time to make sure that I didn't have a cat. Somehow, I don't really think that there really are that many people looking for apartments in January and February. Of course, I can't prove anything. All I know is that they haven't been showing any of the other apartments in the building.

I can't wait to move out of here. Those rotten bastards. So far, the deposit they have on me is one month's rent ($575) and the two pet deposits ($600) for a grand total of $1175. This is ridiculous. I could have been living at the Lodge or something with that money. So anybody know of a good apartment building w/ reasonable rent, neighbors who don't do drugs, and pets are allowed?

Bling Bling

I just watched a segment on E! for how Hollywood It Girls live it up. They seemed to portray Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, Mischa Barton, the Olsen trolls, Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan the most.

The show started off mild, showing what you might regularly expect these type of people to spend: couple g's on a high-end fashion purse, accessories, $700 on a hairstyle, etc. But then it got progressively worse: Mischa paying her hairstylist $4,000 a day to stay on stand-by just in case she wants her hair or makeup touched up, $62,000 on a diamond-encrusted watch for Lindsay Lohan, Nicole and Paris dropping $112,000 on a shopping spree in one day. Apparently Nicole and Paris fight over who gets to pay the bill, because they're both so rich. Really? I know Lionel has some $$$, but can he really compare to Paris's hotel mogul dad?

By this point, I felt so nauseated by the excess blinging and money thrown around that I had to turn the tv off. I honestly felt like puking. Is it really necessary to spend that much money? I mean, sure, I spent $90 on a flat iron for myself, but that's because this is the best flat iron that gets the job done. I figured my time was worth the extra money spent to save an extra 3-4 hours a week. I guess the same argument applies for them, but really…!

Oui, c'est vrai, non?

Today's quote: I don't need to know nothin' 'bout women when I got a momma, a cat, nine sisters and a gay uncle.

The engineer's amazingly accurate rendition of life:

Crying in a Corner

Yes, I know it's all my fault. I have no one to blame but myself. Now that I'm looking for a summer job, I can't find one. Except for a volunteer internship with the public defender in MO. But who wants to be in MO?! Should I just give up already?

I shouldn't have let regular schoolwork blind me to the longer-term goals. Now I can't find a job in the places I'm looking for, and I'm starting to panic. I guess my fallback plan can be to just stay here in the summer and take classes so as to lighten my load for next year. But I really don't want to do that, because I've taken summer school every year I was in undergrad, and I've really learned that summers should be cherished. Right now I'm comforting myself with a few drinks. I figure by the time I graduate law school I'm going to have various addictions to alcohol, smoking, and caffeine. Somehow I don't think following a spicy bloody mary with a ice cream mudslide was such a good idea.

So, what to do, what to do?

I am not..

Today's quote: You're the worst kind. You're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.

My friend and I were flipping through channels while we were eating dinner, when we landed on a movie on the Oxygen channel. The man was talking about high and low maintenance women, and his best friend wanted to know which one she was. The man replied with the above quote. I turned to my friend, and asked him if I was high maintenance, and apparently he emphatically thinks that I fit into the above category. So what if I like things a particular way? I think it's better to be definitive than wishy-washy.

I'm wondering if I'll be able to get the brief written in time. I'm honestly beginning to be afraid that I won't. It seems that the fates are against me even when I try my best to get going on my work. For instance, yesterday I stayed at home and printed off the Westlaw stuff to the school printers. 9:30 came, and I left at 9:40 to go to school, since it takes about 3 minutes to drive to school. I forgot to take one thing into account: the fucking train. I swear, the goddamn train knows just when to come and fuck me over. So instead of getting to school at 9:45, I get there at 9:55. I raced into the library, only to find the print lab locked. Maddeningly enough, I can see my print jobs piled up on the printer, tantalizingly out of reach. Of course, the old man wouldn't open up the lab so that I could get my stuff. As my friend said, he's a very bad man. Bad man, indeed.

Dying Young

I don't want to live to be this old...



She's 125 years old. Usually by then the mortal shell is falling apart.

So what's the best way to die? I hope I don't live to be so old that I become a burden on my family, and have all these lawsuits over my custody and will. Nope, nuh uh. Hopefully I'll live to see my grandchildren, but that's about it.

Perhaps my stints at the Alzheimer clinic were more traumatic than I thought.

It's a Beautiful Day

Today's quote: You come in here with a skull full of mush and you leave thinking like a lawyer.


Ok, it's a beautiful day, marred only by the stress of researching for this stupid memo. Oops, I meant brief. I've been bitching about the memo for so long that it's stuck on me. Well, a brief really is just a long one-sided memo, right? Same thing.

I just came back from walking Angry Little Iowa Law Dog. Or rather, being dragged along by her. It never fails to amaze me how much energy she has. I know I present a funny sight running helter-skelter after this little 5lb dog. She's on a leash, but I hate choking her against it, so when she starts running, I have to too. I guess she's got me wrapped around her little paw. Maybe I should rename her Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.

I wonder if she's in heat? I haven't had her spayed, which never was really an issue before. However, this time we passed another woman walking her dog, and the dog kept lunging at mine. Anyone know of any cheap places a starving law student could take her to get spayed?

Look Professor Kurtz

As posted by Three Years of Hell,

>>
In the great state of Illinois, this is now settled law:

The judges backed the lower court decision to dismiss the fraud and theft claims [regarding a woman's decision to keep the output of oral sex and later use it to impregnate herself], agreeing with Irons that she didn't steal the sperm.

"She asserts that when plaintiff 'delivered' his sperm, it was a gift -- an absolute and irrevocable transfer of title to property from a donor to a donee," the decision said. "There was no agreement that the original deposit would be returned upon request."
<<

It would seem that "deposit" is the right word..

The Law Student Prostitute

Here is an article (from the Legal Underground, see links to left) about a Stanford law student who graduated, didn't want to be a lawyer, so turned to prostitution. Apparently she posted on an online forum discussion about paying off about $300k of law school debts by prostituting herself.

What I want to know is, how do I find a money scheme that doesn't involve prostitution?

Stanford Law Call Girl

By the way, why on earth do they call it a brief, when it's anything but?

Are you sure you want to delete?

Today's quote: Are we like couples you see in restaurants? Are we the dining dead?

If you could erase someone from your mind, would you? What if s/he made you so unhappy, that in the end the only things you were left with were the bitter and angry memories of that person?

I forget where I saw this expression before, but someone once described her experiences as having left thumbprints of various sizes on her. The fleeting impressions were shallow imprints, whereas the ones that affected her strongly were deep imprints.

What I've never understood about myself is my collection of deep thumbprints. They're very random: certain lines during movies, how someone looked at a particular moment, the smell of freshly laundered clothing, etc. So far, I have to say that law school has not left me with any lasting impressions that I can carry away with me. Half the time I feel like I'm slowly walking across the bottom of a swimming pool, going through the motions of being here.

So what if? What if the thumbprint someone has left on you is a bad type? The type that hurts you more than anything else ever did, that leaves a festering sore behind? We're all a collection of our experiences to some degree. I don't want to think that I am merely reacting to negative experiences I've had, but when I realize what I look for in a person, that's exactly what I'm doing. I don't know what I want, I only know what I don't want.

The Great Porn Debate

So a bunch of us were sitting around downstairs, when this fabulous topic came up. H mentioned how she'd been watching Dr. Phil, and that he'd said porn was bad, absolutely bad, and that those porn stars were people who'd taken a bad turn somewhere. This is how the fuse got lit. (I don't get why these people apparently took a "bad turn"? Why can't some people do it just b/c they like working in the industry?)

What's the average take on porn? Apparently, my view is rather in the minority here at the school. I tend to have some issues with it, but now that I think about them carefully, I really do think they stem more from how my ex dealt with the subject. He hid it from me, and then I caught him downloading it when I was over at his place, TWICE. He knew from the first time that I had a major problem with it, so when I caught him the second time I really thought I was going to go bonkers. If he'd been open about it from the beginning, instead of hiding it from me, then maybe I wouldn't have felt that it was something he was keeping from me, and doing God knows what.

The other thing is that I think I unfairly tend to hold others up to my own standard. If I am in love with someone like the way I say that I am, then I don't notice other men. I especially don't want to watch porn, because sex to me is something that is highly private and emotional, something I would only share with that other person. I want to know that if I'm engaging in the act, that the guy is thinking about me, not some woman he's visualizing from a porn he saw (and we all know how visual men are). It's bad enough knowing that guys have sex on the brain pretty frequently, without me irrationally fearing that the guy is fantasizing having sex with someone else. To me, when I truly love someone, I not only reserve my physical body, but also my mind. To be cheesy, I guess I really only have eyes for them. But I know this is just me, and is probably another aspect of how possessive my nature is.

A number of interesting views were expressed, H thought the fact that the man wanted to watch porn was disconnected from his love for her and therefore she didn't mind at all, whereas M said his fiance felt exactly the way I felt. Apparently, I was the only one in the group that felt the way I did, the major consensus being that this was one more thing that the couple could share, and thus be more honest and intimate about. At least, that's what N and S think.

The only thing for sure: it's a sensitive subject, and should be handled with kid gloves. People obviously hold different opinions on the subject, and we were wondering what other peoples' takes on it were.

How about a big helping of manners..

Today's quote: Shut up! SHUT THE FUCK UP! Shut up! Shut, shut, shut, shut, SHUT UP! Are you threatening me?

I often wonder about people who just interrupt you while you're talking. You can be talking to someone, and they just come up to the person you're talking to, and start talking to them as if you aren't there. Are these people incapable of common courtesy, or are they really that oblivious to your presence? What should I say to these rude people?

For me, it's not one of those things that I can just say, "Excuse me, I was talking." It almost doesn't seem worth it to say, because then it feels like you're making a big deal out of nothing. But what if someone does it to you repeatedly? Are they really unable to reform bad habits, or are they doing it intentionally? I guess it's just one of those little annoying things that are present in life that you just have to live with, or confront the issue and risk having other people think that you're over-sensitive. Either way, it seems like I lose.

It's one of those things that I would almost never do myself, like chew with my mouth open (ugh don't get me started on that), unless it was a dire emergency. I'd still say the typical "I'm sorry for interrupting, but I'm in a hurry..."
It just seems so shocking to me, because I have always been brought up to respect the fact that other people are talking, and to politely wait my turn. Times like this, I think I'm just too wussy for law school. As a future lawyer, I should get ready to run over other people and get my shots in, not be the doormat that always gets run over.

Over-qualified sewage worker

I took the Job Predictor test Edward posted. So far, the results from the various combinations of my name:

Your ideal job is a Funeral Director.
Your ideal job is a Sewage Worker.
Your ideal job is a Animal Therapist.
Your ideal job is a Quiz Show Contestant.
Your ideal job is a Rally Car Driver.
Your ideal job is a Between the hours of 12 and 1pm on days with a W in them.

I don't get the last one. Is that something I want to know?

These results only feed my theory that I'm not meant to be a lawyer.

Give that back!

Today's quote: Tucker, she's a whale!


Library confiscated my soda today. I was pissed. Luckily for me, the woman didn't see my Wheatables, Cheez-its, and my chili sitting in the tupperware. I didn't believe other people when they warned me that the library nazis make patrols of the library for food confiscations. That's because I've left my food and what-not in a carrel for months, and nothing was ever taken. But today was apparently my lucky day. I was reading my civ pro book when I heard this weird rumbling noise start and stop repeatedly, progressing ever closer to me. I didn't know what it was, nor did I bother to look. I'm a firm proponent of the "mind your own business" philosophy. However, the rumbling stopped right behind me, and one of the circulation desk workers peered into my carrel. Her eyes alighted on my diet Pepsi, and she summarily swiped it. What was the rumbling noise? It was the sound of the cart she was pushing along, laden with all the edible booty she was swiping from the various carrels.

Strange, this just in: the judge overseeing Saddam Hussein's trial has been assassinated.