Today's quote: Tucker, she's a whale!
Library confiscated my soda today. I was pissed. Luckily for me, the woman didn't see my Wheatables, Cheez-its, and my chili sitting in the tupperware. I didn't believe other people when they warned me that the library nazis make patrols of the library for food confiscations. That's because I've left my food and what-not in a carrel for months, and nothing was ever taken. But today was apparently my lucky day. I was reading my civ pro book when I heard this weird rumbling noise start and stop repeatedly, progressing ever closer to me. I didn't know what it was, nor did I bother to look. I'm a firm proponent of the "mind your own business" philosophy. However, the rumbling stopped right behind me, and one of the circulation desk workers peered into my carrel. Her eyes alighted on my diet Pepsi, and she summarily swiped it. What was the rumbling noise? It was the sound of the cart she was pushing along, laden with all the edible booty she was swiping from the various carrels.
Strange, this just in: the judge overseeing Saddam Hussein's trial has been assassinated.