The Great Porn Debate

So a bunch of us were sitting around downstairs, when this fabulous topic came up. H mentioned how she'd been watching Dr. Phil, and that he'd said porn was bad, absolutely bad, and that those porn stars were people who'd taken a bad turn somewhere. This is how the fuse got lit. (I don't get why these people apparently took a "bad turn"? Why can't some people do it just b/c they like working in the industry?)

What's the average take on porn? Apparently, my view is rather in the minority here at the school. I tend to have some issues with it, but now that I think about them carefully, I really do think they stem more from how my ex dealt with the subject. He hid it from me, and then I caught him downloading it when I was over at his place, TWICE. He knew from the first time that I had a major problem with it, so when I caught him the second time I really thought I was going to go bonkers. If he'd been open about it from the beginning, instead of hiding it from me, then maybe I wouldn't have felt that it was something he was keeping from me, and doing God knows what.

The other thing is that I think I unfairly tend to hold others up to my own standard. If I am in love with someone like the way I say that I am, then I don't notice other men. I especially don't want to watch porn, because sex to me is something that is highly private and emotional, something I would only share with that other person. I want to know that if I'm engaging in the act, that the guy is thinking about me, not some woman he's visualizing from a porn he saw (and we all know how visual men are). It's bad enough knowing that guys have sex on the brain pretty frequently, without me irrationally fearing that the guy is fantasizing having sex with someone else. To me, when I truly love someone, I not only reserve my physical body, but also my mind. To be cheesy, I guess I really only have eyes for them. But I know this is just me, and is probably another aspect of how possessive my nature is.

A number of interesting views were expressed, H thought the fact that the man wanted to watch porn was disconnected from his love for her and therefore she didn't mind at all, whereas M said his fiance felt exactly the way I felt. Apparently, I was the only one in the group that felt the way I did, the major consensus being that this was one more thing that the couple could share, and thus be more honest and intimate about. At least, that's what N and S think.

The only thing for sure: it's a sensitive subject, and should be handled with kid gloves. People obviously hold different opinions on the subject, and we were wondering what other peoples' takes on it were.