Now that I've been sleeping about 4-5 hours a night every night for so long, it feels like sleeping longer than that is a waste of time. My body now feels gorged on rest if I sleep even 6 hours. Sometimes I wonder if I'm going to just pass out for a week once I go home for Christmas. I know you don't catch up on sleep, but it sure seems as if people do. I remember my health teacher from a million years ago yelling "You don't catch up on sleep! Once it's gone, it's gone! Suck it up and move on!" She kinda reminds me of the health teacher in Mean Girls.
Not only that, I also have a much lower intake of food. I've discovered just how little you need to survive. Really, the only thing that matters is class, reading, and outlining.
As for companionship, I pretty much knew that I'd be celibate once I came here, since it really doesn't do to mix relationships with school. Even though I knew the reality, that doesn't mean I don't miss it. Who knows, maybe this is why I'm such a cranky bitch these days.
Altogether, it seems like the whole law school thing is rather dehumanizing. You become this machine that lives for school, and nothing else matters. I forget which professor warned us about pushing everyone and everything else to the backseat, but I take that warning to heart. When I take a step back and look at myself these days, I'm not sure just who I've become.
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Isn't it terrible what school has done to us? Sometimes I feel like the blogs are my only way of connecting with others. I try to make time for things like sleeping and having friends, but it's really hard. I think it may be part of their plan. It's like the military or something, where they push us until we break down and then they (whoever they are...the professors? lawyers? i don't know) can build us back up in their image. What a creepy thought.
-Anna
www.xanga.com/annak34
I don't know how you live off of 5 hours of sleep. I need at least 7 to live!
As for the companionship, girl, it's rough. A lot of people have seemed to pair off, but not me. I think it is particular hard here because a lot of the guys are married or have 2-3 yr relationships!
Ug! It is hard enough that we have to study 7 hours a day, but no sex? That is not something they tell you in the Iowa handbook. Ha.
I really don't know how I survive with 4-5 hours of sleep a night either. There was once a time when I thought I would die if I didn't get 9 hours of sleep a night. My my, how far I've come. I basically spend my days praying I won't yawn in the professor's face, and going through hot and cold phases where I'm really really tired, or hyper-alert.
Anna,
maybe we should get together and write a book on the horrors of law school and how it changes a person.
Honestly, it's a bizarre process that the professors put us through. They're whittling away at much of how we think, which tends to be largely irrational, and replacing it with cold logical processes. What's bad is that I find myself holding outside people to this logical standard, and you know how normal people talk is usually fraught with inconsistencies. When someone says something to me I am constantly assessing their statesments for weaknesses, strengths, inconsistencies, or flaws in logic. I wish I could operate in two different modes.
I drink more coffee than I ever have before. It makes me really twitchy and hyper, then I crash and need more. I wonder if this is what it's like to be on speed or something.
I can't talk to normal people anymore. I cannot make them understand what I'm saying, and they are too inconsistent and illogical. Basically, I'm becoming a robot.
Do you have trouble explaining what you're learning in school in lay person's terms? I had a friend ask what my last memo was about, and it took me about 20 minutes to explain it to him, and he still wasn't sure what I was saying. Help!
-Anna
So I've had conversations with a few people about the phenomenon of the soul-sucking Boyd Beast and we have come to the determination that it is time to fight back. Some of us are making it our personal mission to loosen people up around here.
I heard alot of people talking about how refreshing the Halloween party was, about how nice it was to see everyone loosen up for a night. At the risk of sounding like a Tim Burton character, I say why can't everyday be Halloween. I've discovered that alot of the people who walk around Boyd extremely uptight are actually pretty cool once you get some intoxicating beverages in them. So what do you say people, let's all go get a beer and quit worrying.
Anna, I can't believe you actually tried to explain what your memo was about to an outsider! Wow, that was brave of you. In addition to all of the above, my patience for dealing with people has also vanished rapidly. When my friends outside of Boyd ask me about things I give them vague answers like "This memo was about determining the likelihood that a court will enforce a promise." That's as simple as I can get it and I STILL sound like a pompous ass.
Hey,
I'm up for having a drink with new people. It's always good to see people outside of the school setting and have a chance to get to know the real them. Maybe we should try to make a concerted effort to go out together one night and bring as many people as we can.
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