Dear God It's Come to This

I had to stifle the giggles in Contracts today, because my professor was saying,

"What I want to know is, when can I pull out? When is it ok to not perform?"

I know, I know, my mind is in the gutter. It's just been one of those days, where I've been fighting to keep my eyes open in the classes. I almost fell out of my chair in civ pro today b/c I was so sleepy. At least the world is beautiful today...it looks just like my little snowglobe when I shake it.

Can you really buy your grade?

Today's quote: You... you bought all that pudding so that you could get frequent flier miles?

I was sitting here scanning my textbook titles for my contracts book, when I realized that I shouldn't have to scan, it should be immediately apparent where it is. But it isn't, and this is because I have so many hornbooks and/or brief books or commercial outlines. I literally have some kind of study aid for every single class. For property I have the commercial outline by Kurtz & Cain, and the brief book keyed to the textbook, plus the hornbook written by Kurtz & Hovenkamp. For con law I have the Chemerinsky hornbook, and the brief book keyed to the textbook, plus a little Con Law in a Nutshell book that my professor lent me. I have the Farnsworth hornbook and brief book keyed to the text for contracts, plus the brief book for my Contracts book last semester, in case I like those briefs better. For civ pro I have the Roadmap to Civ Pro, which I like very much.

Yes, I have spent a pretty penny on my books. Well, maybe it's not so bad since I got some of these used. Oh yeah, I also have the flash cards for contracts and property.

I'm hoping I'll be able to fob off all these study aids onto incoming 1Ls next year, and recoup some of my investment. The funniest thing is, I've done the best in classes I didn't look at study aids too much for. For instance, I was going to hawk my crim flashcards next year by saying, "These helped me get the grade I got in Crim my first semester." Then my friend pointed out that I better take the shrink-wrap off them if I wanted to say that.

My conclusion? I study harder w/o study aids, but I need the peace of mind that comes with expending lots of money and getting lots of hornbooks. I'm always thinking that the information is there, all I need to do is read it.

My baloney has a first name...

Today's quote: Tonight is the night where the big people thank the little people they've stepped on all year.

I wonder why they got Beyonce to sing so many things during the awards? She is a beautiful singer, but I just don't think that she's suited for singing more classical pieces, and definitely not a French song.

I see from the award categories listed that I need to catch up on a LOT of movies.

Here are some of the heavy hitters:
The Aviator
Million-Dollar Baby
Sideways
Hotel Rwanda
Ray
Finding Neverland
Closer
Kinsey

I've only seen Finding Neverland, which I absolutely loved. I don't plan on seeing the Aviator, it's simply too long. My ADD simply won't allow it. Besides, whenever there is a movie that's up for practically every category I automatically root for underdogs. I felt the same way last year when Lord of the Rings was up. I believe in spreading the joy.

I do plan on seeing Million-Dollar Baby sometime, along with Sideways, and Ray. I'm not so sure about Closer, b/c of Natalie Portman. When she was up for Best Supporting Actress, I was praying, anyone but her, please. I just don't think she's worthy of an Oscar. Sure, she was wonderful in The Professional (so long ago), but she's only a dramatic actress. In my opinion, I have never seen other actresses so good in one genre but so, so crappy in another.

I'm totally psyched about The Incredibles beating out Shrek 2, b/c I thought S2 totally sucked and was nowhere near the caliber of the first one.

Must play catch up: Kinsey, Ray, Sideways, Million-Dollar Baby, Being Julia, Motorcycle Diaries, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Before Sunset, The Chorus, House of Flying Daggers, Super Size Me, and The Phantom of the Opera.

The only Oscar nominees that I've seen are Maria Full of Grace, Finding Neverland, The Incredibles, Collateral, SpiderMan 2, I Robot, and HP: Prisoner of Azkaban.

Concurrent Conditions and Tender

Today's quote: Suicide gave Heather depth, Kurt a soul, and Ram a brain. I don't know what it's given me, but I have no control over myself when I'm with J.D. Are we going to prom or to hell?


I'm annoyed as all hell that BMG didn't deliver my ordered selection for Louis Armstrong. It was supposed to be 4 cds for $17, a range of his best music from beginning to end. But instead I got a letter in the mail saying that they weren't going to ship it to me, nor were they planning on it, and to please not order that selection again. WTF?

Anyway, here I am trying to catch up on 2 weeks worth of Contracts reading, and I come across a section in my text that says "the party who sues the other for non-performance must aver that he has performed, or was ready to perform, his part of the contract."

I think I can easily show that, since I entered my cc # for the entire shipment to be charged. Obviously since that was not the only thing I bought, I was ready to perform my part of the contract. Eh, I guess that there was something I signed in the membership agreement saying that I can't do something like this. But what about robbing me of the benefit of the bargain? Suckiness.

Boyfriend: the Ultimate Pet

As I reflect upon last semester and now this semester, I have to really hand it to the law students who have managed to keep their boyfriends. If they're long-distance, even more kudos to them. I do not believe in long-distance relationships, and deep down I don't think I ever did, which may have been the first fatal blow to my own relationship.

I've decided that having a boyfriend is really like having a really complicated and expensive pet. For exaample: you have another mouth to feed (aka they come over and eat all your food and leave a big mess behind, not unlike many pets), you have to spend quality time with it, you get to help maintain their appearance (no more Cosby sweaters, or dark denim shirts), you buy toys to help keep it happy, you show it off to your friends, you take walks outside together, you can play fetch (honey bring me that, or take out the trash, will you?), and the best part of all, they snuggle up to you at night and keep you warm.

So why do we have boyfriends instead of a cute dog? Unlike the boyfriend, you can shut the dog in its kennel or take it to doggy-day care when you need to study...

Ranking vs. Success?

"Whether a law school is first or fourth tier, most would agree that beyond law school, the path to becoming a great lawyer and having that successful career depend largely on the individual.

"The bottom-line advice I would offer is this: go to the best school to which you are admitted and do as well as you can academically. All this will help in landing the first job. After that, it's what you individually can bring to the marketplace," said Mr. Wiley. " Does Ranking Affect Success?

What does this tell us? NOTHING!!!!!

At least, nothing that those of us with common sense didn't already know. Yes, Iowa Law is a top-tier school, and your grades will affect your chances somehow, but after that it's all about personality, and other factors that cannot be easily quantified.

I find that the older I get, the fewer things I find that have satisfyingly definitive answers. So why am I in law school? I have no idea.

Best/Worst Devil?

Today's quote: Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.

Wal-mart. Everyone has something to say about it. Either they love, love, love the low prices every day, or they're likely to kick you in the shins for shopping there.

Ok, I'll admit it. I go there occasionally. Yes, I sometimes give $ to what is arguably one of the worst devils since the Dollar Store. Actually, I think the Dollar Store still has Wal-Mart beaten for the rate at which they kill off all the local businesses, but I do think Wal-Mart treats their workers the worst and has the most number of lawsuits and controversy surrounding it.

Sorry Mom and Dad, there's really nothing else to shop at for convenience unless I drive all the way to Target. I have done that a few times, but sometimes I'm just too lazy and I'm in a hurry. My parents own one of those struggling businesses that Wal-Mart is trying to kill off.

Here's what one commentor wrote:
-->>Nothing like the most profitable retailer in America getting over $1 billion in subsidies from the government so it can go into towns, drive out local businesses, habitually pay their workers less than a living wage (forcing them to shop at Wal-Mart) and their female workers even less. I'd go into more about the sweatshops, anti-union activity, concealing documents during lawsuits, and censorship of music and written materials for sale in the store, but I'd just end up being more annoying.<<--

And the reply:
-->> If you don't like it, don't shop there. You can go to the hippy mart and subsidize a $20/hr cashier.

Assume Wal Mart opens in some dinky town -- suddenly 5,000 people are saving millions annually, Wal Mart provides jobs, and pays taxes. So a few businesses can't compete? 4,995 people are still better off than they were before.

I think Wal Mart is trailer trash, but I enjoy the low prices, thanks.<<--


Here's an idea of how often Wal-Mart is sued: almost once every two hours, every day. Obviously, their strategy is that of complete and utter annihilation, because it's been noted that they pursue suits even when it would be cheaper to settle. I think that if I had to do corporate law, this would be the most exciting thing to do: be one of the puny Davids trying to take down a Goliath.
An Industry Built Around Suing Walmart, the Most Popular Target of Private Lawsuits

Jury awards $7.5M verdict against Walmart

Pay Gap Between Sexes

Juicy Details Over Sex Discrimination

Deleting Hours, No Breaks, General Shady Practices?

City Pays to Withstand Walmart

The devil(s)!!

Btw, I know Jin said to eBay my microcruzer. Sorry, but if you mention eBay to me, I have to spit. Maybe not in your eye, but I'll settle for your shoe. Ebay is the number one bitch for screwing up payment fees if you're a seller. I used to do some moderate selling on there, through the beginning of last year. I sold an enormous disco ball (don't ask why I had it) for $30 to someone living in NY. I got charged about $2 for the sale, which was ok to me. But then, the next month I got another statement for an extra $15, b/c eBay wrongfully tried to charge me again, except that my credit card on file was expired, so they tacked on the $15 charge to the $1.77 charge. I'm going, wtf. So I email them, and they email me back saying they'll take the charge off if I update my cc info like a good little customer. Like a moron, I fell for the trick. Then eBay charges me $15 THREE MORE TIMES.

Did you ever realize that eBay does not have a customer service # you can call? Maybe they do now, but they sure as heck didn't back then. All arguments were to no avail. It didn't seem to matter to them that they shouldn't have charged me in the first place, meaning they would not have incurred penalty for trying to charge an expired card if they hadn't been so stupid to begin with. Nope, nada. In the end, I managed to get all but one of the $15 charges reversed. Eventually, I gave up in exhaustion. Yes, I let the corporate sneaky bastards run over me. So for selling a stupid disco ball for $30, I got charged $16.77.

Apparently there is a class action suit against eBay. I hope they teach those bastards a lesson.

My other devils: Wal-Mart, Ikea, and Blockbuster. More on them later.

Catchup, anyone?

Today's quote: Gary is the kind of man that understands, when you put another man's cock in your mouth, you make a pact.

As I've been sitting in class this semester pretending to pay attention, I've noticed any number of inefficiencies by the professors. If they really wanted to keep us on our toes they would change up their pattern.

For instance, I have not read for any class in the last two weeks, because I've been called on in most of them. The fourth one, eh, I usually skip because I'm usually behind and don't want to chance getting called on. So let's say I've attended about half of my property classes (sorry prof!). Otherwise, now that I bask in my newfound luxury of complacency, I realize that I've been letting myself slide way too much. I've been playing the catch-up game for about 3 weeks now in every class. I can usually be found reading for the next class in the previous class.

Last semester I was so good. I really don't know how I did it. I would come home from class, take a nap, get up, eat dinner, then spend the rest of the evening unbearably cozy with my books. This semester, I get out of class, surf the internet for hours, buy things that I don't need (thereby getting closer and closer to my credit card limit), blog, clean, play with my dog, hang out with my friends, watch American Idol, read magazines, read novels, chat with people at school, etc. Did I mention that I am easily distracted by shiny, new things? You name it, I'm there, unless it has to do with schoolwork. Yech.

Maybe professors should have a one-time run through the class where they hit up everyone, to be fair. Then after that, they can call on people randomly, to make sure we've done the reading for the class. I kind of had the same problem in torts last semester, since Prof. J.Lo did rolling thunder. I wouldn't read if I wasn't up. That's probably why I didn't do so hot in that class.

Predictability is booooring.

Here's a picture from that "if women ruled the world" series:

Stand up sir, stand up.

Today's quote: Are you a model or a cop?

Sitting in civ pro today, I actually felt sorry for the professor. I almost wanted to tell him to stand up for himself, and don't let us run over him. You know what happens, give an inch, they take a mile. I felt rather sad, because I think we take advantage of his good nature, seen in any number of ways: how we end up not being prepared for class; people come and go all the time, often coming back with food, and then talking with mouth full when called on.

Is it just me who felt mildly outraged over the fact that a student actually asserted estoppel about the no-class-every-third-week policy? I always assumed that the policy would of course be subject to his discretion. Of course, I've gotta hand it to the student for saying that, b/c it certainly took some balls. But at the same time, the fact that the professor gave in seemed to me like one concession too many. I've had my share of teaching, and from past experience the teacher is constantly reasserting boundaries upon the students. This has to be done firmly, or the students end up running wild.

We all know that we would never show up so unprepared to other classes, and I truly believe that we are shamefully exploiting one of the nicest teachers we've had.

For Sale

I have accidentally ordered an extra flash drive. Does anyone want to buy a Sandisk 512MB Microcruzer for $35 from me? This is a great price (definitely beats the ISBA bookstore price for a flash drive), remember: great things come in small packages.

Tick tock, tick tock...

Today's quote: Is that... is that hair gel?

Days like this, when it's gray and dreary outside, I can barely keep my eyes propped open. It was all I could do to not snore openly in civ pro today. Today is the sort of day when you stare at the clock every other minute, and then swear, b/c it's only been one minute since the last time you looked. In fact, that's probably the most interesting thing that's going on in class, just your little jack-in-the-box game with the clock. Yay.

And of course, wouldn't you know it, on the day when you're already about to yawn in their faces, the professors go over the time. Most days, I can barely drag my lazy ass out of bed to go to class, let alone sit still for more than the exact duration of each class, a.k.a. what I like to think of as what I contracted for as a law student here. And I get resentful when I think about the fact that my extra time given to the class is not met by any additional consideration from the professor, nooo. All we pretty much get is a guarantee that it'll happen again.

Well here's a pic to liven up the day: one reason why you should not drink, especially not in front of your friends. Just a warning to everyone who gets hammered every weekend, I might be out one night taking pics...

Another Popularity Contest

As one of the most apathetic 1Ls who just doesn't care about anything, the ISBA elections barely register as a blip on my radar. However, one thing I did notice: what happens when you like one of the candidates running for co-president, but you really, really hate their running mate? As in, you can't stand that person so much you would rather eat your shoe than cast a vote for that person? So do you end up voting for the two people anyway, because you like the one person, or do you end up abstaining, thereby sacrificing the good apple for the bad? Isn't this letting the bad apple win, either way?

Too bad you can't vote for only half the team. Well, let the most popular duo win; we'll see which set is liked overall the most.

Balancing Act

Today's quote: Motherfucking cocksucker motherfucking shit fucker what am I doing? What am I doing? I don't know what I'm doing.

The thing I wonder is, how do people work in other aspects of life along with law school? Last semester I was much more obsessed with studying, because I was afraid I was going to flunk out of school. As a result, I let my relationship, health, and social life slide straight to hell. How do people do it? I just don't understand. There are days when I feel as if I don't even have the time to eat, let alone think about taking care of my appearance, eat right, remember to call my parents and sister, friends' birthdays. You know, the works.

I must be the most inefficent student ever. This semester, the situation has flip-flopped around, and now my schoolwork is suffering because I simply like doing other things better. There are people I'd rather spend my time hanging out, errands I'd rather do, hell I'll even clean my toilet rather than study. I feel as if I'm walking a tightrope, if I fall off on one side, I'll have a teacher calling me on the fact I haven't studied, but on the other side I'll end up neglecting everything else. What to do, what to do.

Some hate mail to a man who thinks he's fantastic.

Damn Parking Nazis

Today's quote: My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell.

I’m so pissed at the school’s parking meter maids. Those bitches. I parked at the small lot that is for visitors, but then overstayed the meter by about 20 minutes. When I got back, it was to not one, but TWO parking tickets. I stared in disbelief at the extra long strip of ticket. I was thinking, what is this, did they accidentally give me someone else’s parking ticket by leaving it still attached to mine? No, oh no. First, the parking bitch gave me a $10 ticket, the reason cited being that I had a “restricted permit for campus use only.” Oh really? So I’m penalized for contributing resources to the school and supporting its already outrageously overpriced parking permit? But that’s not all. The ticket right after had the reason as “expired meter.” Sure, one parking ticket, but two??

Isn’t this totally fucked up? Is this sort of double-recovery allowed? What a sucky, sucky day. It probably is allowed to do multiple citations for this sort of crap. It just seems so wrong that I’m being charged for being a goddamn student, as if I’m not already paying enough for the overpriced privilege to be here.

I went online and filled out the appeals form, and stated that the interests of justice and fair play were not being served in penalizing a student who already contributes revenue to the university by paying for a parking permit every month. Yeah, yeah, I'm probably not using those terms in the way they were meant to be, but I just felt like threatening them with some empty bullshit.

Is it just me, or are the Parking Nazis totally trigger-happy this semester? Must resist urge to go kick the parking and transportation truck...

Arrrrr...thar she blows

Ok taking a break from trying to wade through all the red slashings on my memo. Can I officially say that I absolutely hate the topic of standing? I think I may hate con law too.

Ok, back to the slash marks all over my paper. You know, I should have taken notes during my conference with my professor. I can't remember why I have to change certain things, because the conference was a week and a half ago. ARRRGHH!!

I don't think that I've ever entertained so many death wishes in so short a period of time before. And what's truly sick is that all I can think of is blessed relief from all the work.

Spring break, where are you?!

Today's quote: Over here, we have a male-affectionate, easy to get along with, non-political agenda lesbian. Down here, we have a man-hating, angry as fuck, agenda of rage, bitter dyke. Over here, we got Santa Claus, and up here the Easter Bunny. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first?




Just thought this was amusing. It was part of a packet one of my friends emailed to me titled "If women controlled the world." Although I know it was supposed to be empowering, I actually found most of the pictures offensive and demeaning. For instance, here's one picture that kind of pissed me off:



I know I probably sound like a typical pointy-headed feminist, but my first reaction was, WTF is that supposed to mean? Is this trying to imply that women don't know how to use a fucking hammer and screwdriver?

Still, just because that's basically how guys screw, does that necessarily mean that women wouldn't know how to use a "man's" tool? I'm not loving this picture so much. It's amazing to me what guys think are funny. Yet another instance of the huge difference between the X and Y chromosomes.

Anyway, taking a break as usual from studying. Although maybe to put it more aptly, I usually take a break from blogging and surfing the web by studying. My rewrite of the memo is due tomorrow, and I'm hoping I won't have to pull an all-nighter again. This rewrite will also be a piece of crap, but hopefully it won't be as crappy as the last one. Seriously, I could smell the stink a mile away, it was that bad.

A little respect (just a little bit)

Today's quote: The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.

Reading all the stuff that people said on Lost In Iowa's Amana post, I have to say that I am pretty surprised at the stuff that came out. I always think that we, the law students who supposedly represent some of the best and brightest, would be more tolerant of other people's views, but this isn't true if his blog is any real indicator of the nature of people.

I really think both sides have valid points, but I would think that people would have a little more respect for each other's opinions. The lack thereof turned what could have been a highly interesting topic of conversation (albeit extremely inflammatory) into what was basically a screaming, dirty mud-slinging match. That last poster, who posted the f-word 29 times? Was that really that necessary? Some things are better left in their small doses, otherwise they lose their potency.

Something one person said particularly caught my eye, hence today's quote. Did anyone think that the reason racism has not totally reliquished its insidious hold is because some people are actually convinced that it no longer exists?

Passing of a Prodigy

My friend and I were arguing over whether his Contracts book author contributed to the Restatement. This then led to the debate, me saying the guy was probably alive. So I googled it, and up it comes: Farnsworth died January 31, 2005, of prostate cancer. Talk about a coinky-dink given our conversation. This man has led the most distinguished life that I've ever read.

Edward Allan Farnsworth was born on June 30, 1928, in Providence, R.I., where his father was a professor of physics at Brown University. He received a degree in mathematics from the University of Michigan in 1948; a master's degree in physics from Yale in 1949, and a law degree from Columbia in 1952.

The elder Prof. Farnsworth suggested that his son, with his strong analytical skills, apply to law school. Prof. Farnsworth chose Columbia because the school gave mid-term grades. Thus, if he discovered he couldn't handle the work, he could withdraw without paying for the second semester.

In 1954 he joined the Columbia faculty, becoming the youngest member of the law school's faculty.

Can you believe he joined the faculty only 2 years after he graduated from the law school?? This means he became a faculty member at the age of 26.

At the time of his death, Cases and Materials on Contracts, the most popular casebook on the subject in the country, was selling 10,000 copies annually, according to Foundation Press, the book's publisher.

The Law School named him the Alfred McCormack Professor of Law in 1970, a chair he held at the time of his death.

Who's Behind Marketing?

Today's quote: Excuse me, I, I,.. b-b-believe you have m-m-my stapler...

Do you ever wonder what the advertising or marketing department was thinking when they turned out certain commercials or product designs? Today, as I stood in Office Depot trying to pick a pen from the multitude presented, my eye was caught by the Papermate Silkwriter. Its description made me blush. Are they trying to sell a pen or a pack of condoms?

• Lubriglide ink glides on effortlessly. Get the exceptional silky feel of a rollerball with the functionality of a ballpoint — in one pen!
• 1.0 mm medium point for strong, sure strokes.
• Wide cushion grip for comfort while you write! Soft rubber absorbs tension, making working a pleasure. Comes in a variety of colors.

If the company ever decides to switch to manufacturing condoms, I don't think their advertising and design department will have too much work to do..

The other thing is Kum & Go. What were they thinking? Does anyone else think the name is ironic?

Is this what Valentine died for?

Today's quote: All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.

In my cynical musings, especially on this day of all, I sometimes wonder if Valentine's is totally overrated. There seems to be such tremendous pressure to perform: plan out the perfect day, like where to eat dinner, what to wear, what to buy the other person, flowers or not, chocolates or not, how to seem original and yet not cheap, must make the night in bed FANTASTIC, etc. The list goes on and on. I bet all the guys out there are feeling the pain. That's not to say that Valentine's isn't special, but when I pass all the stores decorated with Valentine's frippery the day after Christmas I get a little annoyed. They're pushing it way too hard to make that extra buck, so much so that it's hard, for me at least, to feel that special little twinge if I realize it's V-day and I do have someone to spend it with. It seems way too oriented towards who can buy the bigger, better gift. It's hard enough trying to anticipate what the other person might like, without having to feel like you're jumping through financial hoops and right into dire straits (when you see your credit card bill).

Everyone knows it shouldn't be that way. Valentine's and Christmas are so over-hyped that I'm starting to feel like taking a strike when the days near. What happened to "it's the thought that counts" or "all that matters is that I get to spend the day with you, honey" ? The idea of gifts is that you give them because you want to, not because some manipulative sales-clerk at Godiva's knows how to push all the right buttons until you think you'll be a horrible boyfriend if you don't get her those $20/lb chocolate-covered strawberries.

What kind of hipster? WTF??

Yeah...what the hell is a hipster?

You're Not a Hipster!
Take What sort of Hipster are you? today!

You're actually not much of a Hipster. Congratulations! You may have Hipster style, but you're healthy, you eat right, you have a decent job you enjoy, your finances are stable, you plan on buying a house (if you don't already own one) and settling down before you're 35, you have friends you like, your friends like you, and you can honestly say you're pretty damn happy. Perhaps you should adopt a Hipster and draw them into your perfect lair . . .

Risk-factor quiz

Today's quote: No capes!

Ladies and gents, here is the Risk-factor quiz. (Score yourself accordingly to directions. Disclaimer: I take no responsibility for detrimental reliance on this quiz.)

1) Size of the class (are there over 50 people?)
Section: 5.
40-60 people: 4.
80+: 3.

2) How scary is the prof? How pissed would they be if you admitted you had not read?
Rate your professor on a scary scale of 1-10, and add that to your total.

3) Have you already been called on?
Yes: 1.
If you haven't been called on yet at this time of the semester: 6.

4) If you have been called on, did you do well? (if you've done well skip to question 6; if you haven't gotten called on yet, skip to question 5).
Yes: 0.
Did ok: 1.
Not so well: 3. Some professors like to ambush those who didn't do so well to make an example out of them.

5) Have other people who didn't do well gotten called on again? (apparently some professors like to go back to the same people if they didn't do so well the first or second time.)
Yes: 3.
No: 0.

6) Does the professor just like picking on you?
Yes: 3.
No: 0.

7) Does the professor do rolling thunder, or select panels (and are you going to be up soon)?
Yes, and you're not going to be up soon: 0.
No: 5.

8) Are you wearing a suit to class? (professors love picking on those dressed up for interviews)
Yes: 4.
No: 2.

9) Is the professor the type to stick with a person who's not doing well, or drag the torture out no matter what? (for example, our property professor last semester)
Sticks with someone: 5.
Moves on to others: 3.

10) Is this a class you could conceivably skip w/o feeling too badly over watching the tape from the safety of the lab or your home instead? (for example, civ pro)
Yes: 2.
No: 4.

11) Is your last name difficult to pronounce? I swear professors try to avoid those with hard names.
Yes: 2.
No: 4.

12) Do you already talk a lot in class? (really, are you a gunner? It seems like the professors have heard enough from these people, so tend not to call on them)
Yes: 2.
No: 5.

13) Does the professor call on people randomly from a deck of cards, or does he mark off on the seating chart as he goes? (eventually your number will be up then)
Randomly from cards: 2.
Seating chart: 4.

14) How far is into the semester is it and you still haven't been called on?
Been called on already: 1.
First week: 2.
Third week: 4.
Fifth week: 6.
Basically, (# week into semester) + 1.

15) Does the professor take attendance? (if you miss class lots and the prof does take attendance, they tend to go after you the minute you do show your face again)
Yes, and you've missed class more than once: 5.
No: 1.


Ranges:
Walk On By 20-33: Not very likely you're going to get called on in the next class.

Cruisin' 34-46: There's a possibility, but you probably won't get called on next class.

Trouble 47-59: You should be a little worried, probably best to have done the reading.

I Will Survive 60-72: You better have done the reading, because there's a good chance your neck will be in the noose by next session. Be prepared to feed the answer monster.

I tested this on myself for the class I got called on in last week, and I came out with a 56. Since that's the high end of the third range, I wish I'd made this quiz before. Maybe that would have prepared me for that class better.

By the way, section-risk is an entirely different manner. That's because they tend to pick panels or do rolling thunder. Depending on what the teacher does, it's your own call. As a rule, I think it's usually a good idea to be prepared for section if they don't do the panel thing, since there are so few people in it.

A familiar rant

Today's quote: Well, there are some things you should know. First off, you see gum on the street, leave it there. It's not candy. Second, there are, like, thirty Ray's Pizzas. They all claim to be the original. But the real one's on 11th. And if you see a sign that says "Peep Show", that doesn't mean that they're letting you look at presents before Christmas.

I know everyone who knows me has heard me go off on this subject many times, but I think I just need to get it out of my system once and for all.

The subject: cellphones.

Yes, I have one myself. But I rarely use it when I'm driving, which is what set me off today. I got cut off by this asshole today, who was predictably using a cellphone and driving at the same time. The way I figure it is that most people just aren't smart enough to do both at the same time, yours truly included. Heck, sometimes I get distracted just from talking to someone next to me, let alone hold a cellphone to my ear and try to drive at the same time.

Maybe I'm just really pissed because I've gotten into an accident where I was rear-ended by a stupid unlicensed teenager who was also talking on a goddamn cellphone on the freeway on a rainy day. She's lucky I didn't sue her parents for letting such a fucking stupid kid who didn't even have a license drive. I just had them pay for my car repairs. Maybe I'm the stupid one, but hey, I like to be nice to people.

Anyway, what really gets me is that these people don't even think about how dangerous what they're doing is. They are threatening the lives of others because of their carelessness, just because they're bored while they're driving, or they just have to take this call. Whatever. Why don't they try telling that to someone whose kid they killed because they were "busy."

The next thing that gets me is people who talk on the cell while at dinner with other people. I see people who are sitting there yakking away on the cell, ignoring their dinner companion in the meanwhile. Um, isn't that just a little rude? Just a little. Plus, they're usually shouting on the damn phone, screaming "can you hear me now?? What about now? Can you hear me now?!" Maybe the other person can't hear them, but everyone else in the entire restaurant can. The last thing I want to hear during dinner is some low-budget version of Verizon's commercial. I'm usually repressing my violent urge to tell them to shut the hell up. It sucks that law school has shown me that I can't do all these things to people anymore for fear of a lawsuit. I think I may have been happier living in my blissful ignorance.

Russian Roulette

Today's quote: Ooh, great job man! I really thought you were retarded. I mean, you're better than that Corky kid and he's actually retarded. If there was a retarded Oscar you would win, hands down, kick his ass!

Do people go to class if they haven't read for it? I've already read from one of the blogs what happened when the teacher caught the person on such a day. Here's a question, why go to class if you haven't read? Isn't that like playing with fire? I know there's the whole concern over missing class, and no one else's notes are good enough...but still! Is it really worth it to go to class on a day when you haven't even read, and then get called on by a teacher who absolutely refuses to let go of you, like some kind of demented bulldog?

I could see how you'd risk it if it were a bigger class like torts or property, but in a smaller class like section? Um. I have to admit, there have been days when I hadn't read for property, and then I ended up scrunched down in my seat cowering, trying to pretend that I wasn't there like some kind of idiot, since my laptop is clearly visible on the table.

I guess it all depends on how scary the teacher is too. Here are the factors that matter the most if I'm considering skipping a class:

Risk-factor questionnaire:

1) Size of the class (are there over 50 people?)
2) How scary is the prof? How pissed would they be if you admitted you had not read?
3) Have you already been called on?
4) If you have been called on, did you do well? (if so, skip to question 6)
5) Have other people who didn't do well gotten called on again? (apparently some professors like to go back to the same people if they didn't do so well the first or second time.)
6) Does the professor just like picking on you?
7) Does the professor do rolling thunder, or select panels?
8) Are you wearing a suit to class? (professors love picking on those dressed up for interviews)
9) Is the professor the type to stick with a person who's not doing well, or drag the torture out no matter what? (for example, our property professor last semester)
10) Is this a class you could conceivably skip w/o feeling too badly over watching the tape from the safety of the lab or your home instead? (for example, civ pro)
11) Is your last name difficult to pronounce? I swear professors try to avoid those with hard names.
12) Do you already talk a lot in class? (really, are you a gunner? It seems like the professors have heard enough from these people, so tend not to call on them)
13) Does the professor call on people randomly from a deck of cards, or does he mark off on the seating chart as he goes? (eventually your number will be up then)
14) How far is into the semester and you still haven't been called on?
15) Does the professor take attendance? (if you miss class lots and the prof does take attendance, they tend to go after you the minute you do show your face again)

For next issue: the risk-factor range chart.

Common OCI Thread

Today's quote: "C'mere. I'm very happy we're going to have all the sex."
"You should be. I'm very bendy." Meow~!

So everyone knows that OCI have been going on this week. It's pretty hard to miss the people wandering around BLB in their suits, especially when the professors seem to like making a point of calling on these poor people when they're already stressed about the interview.

I have now had two interviews, and I'm wondering if I'm going to run into the same question over and over: "What's blogging?"

I guess I was stupid enough to list that as an interest on my resume. I just thought that it would show that I invest my time in something outside of school, and how I like to commiserate with my fellow law students. But apparently, they don't even know what is meant by blogging. Towards the end of one interview, the two attorneys looked at each other, and the woman goes, "I'm going to ask the question, ok?" Then she turns to me, and I was thinking, what the hell is she about to ask me? She kinda leaned in, to which I unconsciously leaned away, and she goes, "What's blogging?" I almost started laughing hysterically. They even asked me if I knew the origin of the word.

So yes, I'm going 2/2 so far, because the next interviewer asked me the same thing. The funny thing is, they almost seem disappointed by my response. I don't think they quite understand the consequences of having a blog, nor how it can affect your fellow students. Maybe if I compared it as the techno-geek version of One L, they'd understand better?

I don't know what I'm going to do if they ask me for my blog. I suppose I hadn't really thought this through. Well, before last week I really thought I had nothing to hide about my blog, but now I may have some concern about how they might feel about that whole drama that went down. There have been people who lost jobs because of their blogs, I don't want to end up as one those stupid shmucks who don't get one because of a blog.

Delirious

I honestly feel like I'm running on crack. I didn't go to sleep until 4am reading Contracts. Why was I up so late reading Contracts? Because I didn't start reading it until midnight, because before that I'd been reading A Civil Action. Even though it's a good book, I'm still resentful that he required extra reading on top of the text for the class. Doesn't he know that we're law students? We don't have time to read hardly anything outside of class, plus the research for our memos!

Sorry. Seems like all I do lately is whine whine, bitch, moan.

This morning I actually blacked out for a moment in the shower. It's the first time I have fallen asleep standing up. You know what I feel like? One of those old phones with a battery that just won't hold a charge anymore. You know, you turn it on and talk for 5 minutes before it dies on you. The question is, how do I get a new "battery"?

Today's quote: If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball.

I figure if a bunch of idiots can get hit by cars, I can put up with a little work.

Harrowing day

I got called on today in one of my classes. Unfortunately, it was the class I hate the most. So I continue on sputtering like an idiot, unable to explain my "brilliant" points that I introduce to the class, basically saying stuff like, "Uh...duhhrrrr..." until finally the class is over and my torture ends. Anyway, the professor comes up to me and says, "You did a good job today." Instead of thanking him, I blink and go "Nuh-uh." I think I actually shocked him. He goes, "What?!" Meanwhile, I'm thinking, goddammit why can't you think before you speak?! Yeah...I must be the only law student to contradict a law professor's compliment. Anyway, the reason that I said this was because my theory is that this professor is such a nice guy that he always tries to soften blows by giving compliments. For instance, after my conference with him over my crappy memo yesterday, and after basically telling me I needed to rethink my whole argument for the rewrite, he added, "By the way, you write really well."

I know, I know, I should just take the comments at face-value and say thank you and keep my mouth shut. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so honest.

As if that wasn't enough, I went to the post office to pick up a package, and left my wallet there. I didn't notice my wallet was missing until I drove all the way back home, and then looked for it everywhere. I concluded that I must have left it at the p.o., so I drove all the way back praying that I wouldn't get pulled over. Since I've been too lazy to get my license renewed still, not only do I not even have a valid driver's license anymore, but now I had NO license. Great. The only thing was, it was 6:15 by then, and it closed at 5. I was just hoping for the best. I got there, and ran up to the door. Lo and behold, my wallet is sitting on the outside door handle to the office. I was so relieved, but at the same time, I was a bit shocked that they would just leave someone's personal effects out to dry like that. Maybe they thought that I would be back quickly, but still...? They're involuntary bailees, I suppose, but isn't this a little different since they have my i.d., and thus know exactly who I am? I should email Kurtzy about this; wouldn't this make a perfectly annoying property exam question on liability of the post office?

Ghettofabulous!

So this morning at 2:30am, I'm thinking, oh I should get my suit out and make sure everything fits for the interview I have today. So I put it on, everything is good, except the pants are too long, by about 2 inches. I'm thinking, no worries, I'm not a bad hand at tailoring. I go and find the needles, of which I have 45. Then it was, Houston, we have a problem. No thread. No thread!!!! I'm turning my entire apartment upside down, racing back and forth like my demented dog, and couldn't find any thread. By this time, it's 2:50. I'm screaming, "@#&%$!!!!!!" And then a bolt of inspiration hits me. I run to my bathroom cabinet, and pull out the floss. Yes, ladies and gents, it was the only thing resembling thread in my entire apartment. It was going to be that or the fishing line spool I have for no apparent reason. I decided to go with the floss. So, I can proudly say that my pants cuffs of my suit today are held up by minty-green floss. I know, I'm so ghettofabulous, aren't I?

Today's quote: Sometimes you gotta grab life by the haunches and hump it into submission.

Vicious circles

Ok, this is a weird dilemma. This semester seems about 10 times harder than last semester, so I'm correspondingly more depressed all the time. Therefore, I want to spend more time doing other things that make me happier. But then this takes time away from me possibly studying, so then classes seem harder, and then I'm back where I am again.

Does anyone know how to break this vicious cycle? Right now it seems the only thing I could do is to just live at the library, but when I get home at midnight, I feel like some gross slimy thing oozing out from under a rock in the mud somewhere.

Right now I'm seeking refuge in movies. I think I'm going to pick a movie quote of the day and whenever I get down about something, like my crappy memo or feeling stupid in class, I'll just think about the quote.

Today's quote: "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" Yeah, baby, yeah!

Now I'm going to go do the chicken dance.

Harsh truth: it's there whether you like it or not

Ok, got the first memo back. I really would not recommend waiting until the very last minute possible to write the paper. Let's just say that after I excise all the paragraphs marked for deletion by the professor, my paper is now half its original length. Well, I'm not going to be a bonehead and bitch about my own stupidity, I did expect this exact scenario.

On the other hand, I just may finally be getting used to my professors (it's about time), so maybe I won't quake with fear from getting called on. So far, I have to say that I've been really lucky in dodging the bullet thus far this semester. That's not to say that I like the subjects any better, but at least I can semi-anticipate some of the questions the professors will ask.

Oh, oh. Totally love civ pro today. I can't wait to get the professor's flash cards now. The ones he read in class today were hilarious. Here's one:

PROFESSOR reading from card: The lawyer who assumes that there is one right and certain answer to legal questions is...

(Turns card over)

PROFESSOR: Naive, misguided, and all too often a loser.

CLASS: (Big laugh)

PROFESSOR: I mean literally a loser in court!! Though she may be a perfectly fine person!

CLASS: (More laughs)

Bitter insomniac

Ok, here I am. Can't sleep because my body is all fucked up from sleeping about 2-3 hours a night, and then not sleeping at all on Thursday night. Plus I'm a little trashed right now since I just came back from the block party. Typing is proving amazingly difficult right, and the screen keeps going in and out of focus.

So it's difficult not to view everyone at the law school with a jaundiced eye right now after all that bashing that went on. At least I have respect for what other people say, and I don't stoop to letting the debate degenerate into the type of fight that ends with "Oh yeah?!!! Well you're just stupid!!!" Uh huh, and I thought we were supposed to be law students. So far, not really impressed from what I've seen from the comments.

Of course, I know that not everyone felt that way, so there is still a feeble, flickering ray of hope that not all hope is lost.

Couple of things to mention from some of the comments left from the other day: first of all I love Jin's comment. She's totally right, people hate my blog, yet they're the ones wasting the time to post how much they hate my blog instead of doing something else that they'd rather do. Secondly, she's also right about how people commit their verbal drivebys, while posting under "Anonymous" also. Gotta love the goddamn irony.

Great. My dog just farted on me.

Through the night, to the light of day

Yes, I am one of those stupid morons who left their writing of the memo till the last minute. Almost literally. It is now 7:25 am, and I have not slept all night. I feel as if I've committed writer's bulimia; everything I've just read in the last 6 hours I basically retched back up into my paper. I wonder if I will get the worst grade in the class on this writing assignment. I wouldn't be surprised if that were true.

So I stayed awake all night, chugging 7 cans of diet Pepsi, eating chocolate, cereal, and more chocolate. At this point, if someone cut me I'd probably bleed Pepsi. I sit here trying to keep awake so that I can turn my memo in to the secretary in half an hour, so I amuse myself by letting my hands take turns typing and propping my eyelids up. I can't even let myself take a nap because I'm the sort of person who has such bad luck that I'd probably sleep through the alarm and then not get to turn in my crappy finished paper.

It has been a harrowing night. Hopefully I will not do this sort of imbecilic thing again. And being awake all night, I was treated to a show of my neighbors across the hall having sex. Let me tell you, they are the neighbors from hell. I have had nothing but conflict with them this whole time. They kept stealing my parking spot, having loud parties at 3 am (they woke me up at 4am in the morning last semester the night before the Crim final, and I almost committed murder then and there: how ironic would that have been?)and then talking about how much they hated me, as if I couldn't hear them. Confronting them does no good because they don't care even if they're threatened with eviction. One day, I will go postal on them. So as if things weren't bad enough already, I got to hear the excessively loud moaning from the girl. I'm surprised they didn't wake up the entire building. I almost went over there to bang on the door to tell them to shut the fuck up.

How do you even begin to complain about this sort of thing?
>>Knock, knock. Excuse me, but I really don't like hearing you get it on like rabbits, so please keep it quiet. Thank you.<<

Can you imagine if I tried to tell the landlord about this kind of noise? or the cops?

The Next Iowan Idol?

In the heat of the moment after having watched American Idol on tv (and having had two extremely chocolicious brownies) I totally think that we should have our very own Iowa Law Idol competition. Why not? One of the radio stations I listen to has Office Idol. I only wish that the whole Lawlapalooza was sooner. I bet some of the people wandering around Boyd would be fabulous singers. I think that Career Services advisor Jill Deyoung would have an awesome voice. I'm guessing jazz for her.

Btw, I must watch American Idol. Even if I don't get tomorrow's reading done, or my memo written, I will always watch American Idol.

So what song would you audition with? I just heard this Gothic chick audition with Phantom of the Opera (crazy!), and she has the best voice I've heard this season. I would probably audition with Beautiful Dreamer, In the Still of the Night, or the Sound of Music. The best auditions I've heard so far were songs from Bobby Brown, Boyz II Men, and Aretha Frankling (Chain of Fools).

And the quest for music goes on. So far, I've discovered Joss Stone. Not shabby at all. She's kind of r&b/jazzy. Difficult to pin her down really. Also, Tristan Prettyman. She has a really husky voice, and she remade Britney Spears' Toxic. I know, that sounds terrible, but trust me, it's not bad at all.

Yay for no civ pro tomorrow! Poor Mr. X for getting called on today. Well, not really. But better him than me today, I didn't even know we were supposed to have read Pennoyer. And if the professor is so concerned about being fair, then he should just shuffle the cards, and then draw from the top methodically to ensure that no one gets called on twice or thrice without having to be. Just a thought.

Someone should suggest to our professor to give us a 5 minute break in the middle so that we can go to the restroom if we need to. As it is, I feel bad that so many people are constantly coming and going that I won't go to the bathroom even though I really feel like I have to. Even if you don't like the teacher or think much of him, shouldn't you at least show the basic respect of sitting through lecture, and not going to get food everyday during class?