Boyfriend: the Ultimate Pet

As I reflect upon last semester and now this semester, I have to really hand it to the law students who have managed to keep their boyfriends. If they're long-distance, even more kudos to them. I do not believe in long-distance relationships, and deep down I don't think I ever did, which may have been the first fatal blow to my own relationship.

I've decided that having a boyfriend is really like having a really complicated and expensive pet. For exaample: you have another mouth to feed (aka they come over and eat all your food and leave a big mess behind, not unlike many pets), you have to spend quality time with it, you get to help maintain their appearance (no more Cosby sweaters, or dark denim shirts), you buy toys to help keep it happy, you show it off to your friends, you take walks outside together, you can play fetch (honey bring me that, or take out the trash, will you?), and the best part of all, they snuggle up to you at night and keep you warm.

So why do we have boyfriends instead of a cute dog? Unlike the boyfriend, you can shut the dog in its kennel or take it to doggy-day care when you need to study...